The Saturnalia Preposition
by Trisha Uchiha
Summary: Sheldon is upset that Howard, Raj and Leonard are going back home for the holidays. He's even more startled that Penny is leaving as well and decides to accompany her in order to avoid isolation. Sheldon/Penny
1. Chapter 1

**Sadly, I don't own The Big Bang Theory and possible spoilers from Seasons 1-4 and up to the most current episode The Flaming Spittoon Acquisition.**

"So what are your plans for Christmas Howard?" Leonard asked as he took a bite of his pizza. "Well this year I'm taking Bernadette to Florida; the whole family's eager to meet her. We have to book a hall in order for everyone to fit in one location."

Raj looked over at him. "Really? You have a huge family." "Not in that sense, a few of them might have trouble just fitting through the front door so we're being cautious. We don't want a repeat of the Christmas disaster of '03."

They started at Howard as he shuddered. "I don't want to talk about it. Raj, are you going to be coming along this year?"

He shook his head. "Unfortunately no, my parents insist on having me come back home this year."

Sheldon's head darted in Raj's direction. "Really? What about Halo night? Who will be our fourth member? We can't play teams with just Penny, Leonard and I."

"Actually I'm leaving as well Sheldon. Since my mother came over for Christmas two years ago she wants me to go home to New Jersey this time." Leonard explained earning a gasp from Sheldon.

"Unacceptable. You can't go home." Leonard looked over his glasses. "You can't tell me if I can go or not."

Sheldon glared at him. "You know my word is law." "Well in this case, my mother's word is law and I'm going. I'm not happy about it either, Sheldon."

"Aren't you going home as well?" Raj asked taking another slice of pizza. "Why would I go home for Christmas Raj? I haven't gone home for the holidays for years."

They looked at him as if he murdered someone. "Alright, here's my question why?" Howard asked earning a look from Sheldon.

"I'll tell you why. Saturnalia at my mother's house with rednecks was never pleasant. To start: drunken Christmas caroling, swirlies, wedgies and alcoholic frivolity that always results in someone or part of the house getting damaged. Last time I was there, my Uncle Dave was so intoxicated he walked through the glass door to get to the backyard."

"Last time when we went to get you from Texas, your mother clearly told Howard that there is no alcohol allowed in the house. Wait, you got swirlies?" Leonard asked with a confused look on his face.

"Correct. However there are no 'rules' to alcohol when it comes to the holidays." Sheldon replied and gestured with air quotes. "And yes, I received swirlies in my own toilet at the hands of my cousins."

Raj snickered earning a look from Sheldon. "Second, my mother takes me to church for 12 hours and gathers her prayer group in a circle to pray for my soul while I stand in the middle. Not to mention that healer that causes fanatics to spasm on the floor uncontrollably after being 'touched' by the will of God."

Leonard blinked at him. "I doubt that you'll still get swirlies and wedgies, you're a grown man Sheldon."

"Leonard, don't underestimate my cousins. Sadly, I did eight years ago."

* * *

><p>"Alright Sheldon, I'm off to the airport." Leonard said as he rolled his suitcase toward the door. "Leonard, must you leave?" Sheldon asked sternly.<p>

"Yes Sheldon, I'm leaving now." "Fine, I won't stop you. Have a safe flight Leonard." Sheldon said as Leonard picked up his keys from the bowl. "Thank you and could you tell Penny 'Merry Christmas' for me when you see her? She hasn't been around in a week. I wonder why she's so busy?"

"It's unfortunate; the lack of her presence has disrupted my schedule. But I will pass your message along for Penny." Sheldon answered, looking toward the door. "Thank you again and Merry Christmas Sheldon."

"Yes, have a Happy Saturnalia."

* * *

><p>Penny trudged up the stairs and walked into her apartment. All those extras hours at the restaurant have been tiring her out but she needed money. It seemed like a better option than asking Sheldon for money; she didn't want to do that again.<p>

After her shower she walked across the hall and opened the door to 4A to find Sheldon sitting on the couch. "Hey Sheldon where's everyone?"

"They've deserted me Penny." He answered solemnly. "They've left for the holidays. Leonard asked that I pass a message to you: 'Merry Christmas'". She nodded and sat down beside Sheldon as he watched Star Trek re-runs. "Wow, I work extra shifts all week and look at what I missed."

"Indeed." Sheldon replied. "Speaking of work Penny, why are you working extra shifts? If you're in need of money again I can lend you some."

"Thanks sweetie, but I wanted to earn the money myself. I have to go home for the holidays too that's why I was working so much." Sheldon quickly sat up straight, scaring Penny. "What? You can't leave me alone. I had an entire holiday schedule planned for the two of us."

"My brother finally got out of jail and my parents want everyone down for the holidays to congratulate him and spend Christmas together." Penny explained as Sheldon's eyes darted back to the television. "I'm sorry Sheldon."

He placed the remote down on the coffee table. "If you're truly sorry, how do you suggest I spend my time alone?" "What about Amy?" Penny asked as he frowned. "Amy has also gone home for the holidays to visit her mother."

"Oh, okay." Penny said as Sheldon looked at her. "You know, I believe I have a solution to diminish my odds of solitude."

"So, you're not going home to Texas?" She asked earning a look from Sheldon.

"To suffer through that hell? I don't think so. Instead I ask that you allow me to accompany you for the holidays."

* * *

><p>"Now, we'll take the train to..." Sheldon continued as Penny blocked out his voice. 'I'm regretting this already.' She thought as he motioned to his whiteboard.<p>

"Penny are you listening?" He asked, frustrated that Penny started looking at her nails. "Yes Sheldon, loud and clear."

He stared at her until she looked up. "Penny, if we were to get lost on the train-" She cut him off and rolled her eyes. "Honey, who would get lost on a train? It will never happen."

"No one thinks it will happen until it does." Sheldon replied confidently. "They serve alcohol on trains and given that it's the 'high-holidays' passengers could pass out on the floor drunk and get trampled." She opened her mouth and started at him in disbelief.

"Also, I wouldn't be surprised if a drunkard opened the exit and accidentally stepped out into his doom as his friends followed him out one by one."

* * *

><p>"You have your ticket?"<p>

"Check."

"Suitcase?"

"Check."

"Jackets, sweaters and boots?"

"Check."

"Tampons?"

"Check. What?" Penny asked in horror. "Why are you asking that?"

Sheldon gestured toward his calendar. "I've noticed that your time of the month is approaching in a few days. As your friend I was concerned."

Penny rolled her eyes and replied sarcastically. "Gee thanks, Sheldon." "You're welcome."

"Alright, can we just leave?" She whined as Sheldon kept going through his list. "Patience Penny. As the travel God, I need to make sure we don't leave anything behind."

She watched as his eyes scanned the page. "Drat. I'm out of Polysporin. We need to stop by Walgreen's on the way to the station."

* * *

><p>"Isn't this exciting?" Sheldon asked as he boarded the train. "The scenery will be magnificent on our way to Nebraska."<p>

"I'm so excited I can hardly contain it." Penny droned as she showed her ticket to the conductor. "Why couldn't we take a plane? It's so much faster."

He ignored her and approached the sleeper car. Sheldon looked at the number on the door and back down to his ticket. "Oh Good Lord." Penny looked at hers and then ripped his ticket out of his hands. "I thought you booked two rooms."

Sheldon looked at Penny. "Of course I did. I booked 2A and 2B." She glared at him. "2A and 2B are bunks Sheldon. I thought the brilliant mind of Dr. Cooper doesn't make mistakes."

His face began to twitch. "Irrelevant. I need to file a complaint with Amtrak."

**Thank you for reading and please review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Sadly, I don't own The Big Bang Theory**

"Great. Three days by train with Dr. Clean." Penny muttered. He walked around sanitizing all the surfaces of the room as she watched. "Sheldon, it was clean when we first got here."

He looked up. "Clean? For all I know they sprayed it with Febreeze." Penny sighed and was about to sit down when Sheldon stopped her.

"Wait! I haven't sanitized that chair yet." Penny stared at him and then walked toward the door. "I'm going to get food. Do you want anything?"

"Why thank you Penny. I'll have a turkey and roast beef sandwich with lettuce and Swiss on whole wheat; precisely in that order."

She smiled and closed the door behind her. "Wackadoodle."

* * *

><p>"I still refuse to sleep that far above the ground."<p>

Penny rolled her eyes. "Fine. But it's perfectly safe; you're not going to fall off the bed." She climbed up and got into the top bunk.

Sheldon turned off the lights and climbed into his bed. "This bed has no lumbar support."

"Goodnight Sheldon." She replied as she pulled up the covers.

"Goodnight Penny."

**An hour later...**

"Penny?"

She groaned and pulled the covers over her face.

"Penny?"

She turned over on her side.

"Penny I know you're awake."

She sighed and sat up too quickly, smacking her head on the ceiling. "Owww!"

"Are you alright Penny?"

"Yes Sheldon."

"Good. Although, I honestly don't see how one can hit their head. You have plenty of space."

Penny rubbed the top of her head, hoping there wouldn't be a bump or headache in the morning. "Sheldon why can't you sleep?"

"I'm not sure. It feels similar to being homesick but I'm actually not for some reason." He replied as he heard Penny lie back down.

"Do you want me to sing soft kitty?"

"Obviously."

She rolled her eyes. "Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur. Happy kitty, sleepy kitty, purr, purr, purr."

"Goodnight Penny."

"Goodnight Sheldon."

* * *

><p>Penny sat near the window and listened as Sheldon talked on about every single thing they passed by. If he wasn't a Physicist he would probably be a tour guide.<p>

"Penny, are you listening?" He asked as Penny turned to look at him. "Of course sweetie, when haven't I listened to you?"

Sheldon was about to open his mouth when Penny stopped him. "Alright but I am listening now."

"Really? Then which state are we approaching?"

"Colorado."

Sheldon smiled genuinely, surprising Penny. "Excellent. Now where was I? Oh yes..."

She sighed and continued to look out the window. Only one more day until they reached Nebraska.

* * *

><p>"Isn't winter beautiful Sheldon?" Penny beamed looking at Sheldon. "I never realized how much I missed snow while living in California."<p>

Sheldon looked up from his laptop and looked over to the window. "It is beautiful but cold. I don't do well in cold."

Penny glanced over at him. "I'm confused. If you don't like the cold why did you want to come with me to Nebraska?"

He stopped typing and looked down at his hands. "I've already told you the reasons."

Penny eyed him suspiciously. "So you'd rather freeze your ass off with me than to stay alone in California?"

He looked up at her. "I refuse to answer that question."

She smiled. "If someone asks you a question the polite thing to do is answer."

Sheldon stared at her and his face started to twitch. "I decline to answer."

He shut his laptop and stood up, walking to the door and shutting it behind him.

* * *

><p>Penny sat at the bar and flirted with the barman. He was pretty cute and his name was Jason; tall, dark and handsome. She was on her fifth drink when Sheldon sat down beside her, earning a look from the barman.<p>

"Penny, I've been looking everywhere for you." Sheldon whispered, ignoring the look the man was giving him. "I was afraid you got lost."

She looked over at him. "Were-you-worried-about-me-Sheldon?" She asked, her words slurring together.

"Of course Penny. Why are you inebriated?"

"If you order a drink I'll tell you." She answered, his expression now frightened.

He paused and sat there in silence. Penny motioned to Jason and she whispered into his ear. He nodded and made a drink, placing it in front of Sheldon.

"Sir, a Virgin Cuba Libre." Sheldon picked up the glass and muttered thank you. He then brought it up to his nose and sniffed. "This doesn't smell like a virgin."

Penny laughed. "That's the funniest thing I've heard you say."

He looked over at her. "What's so funny about-"

"Nevermind. Just drink." Penny said cutting him off.

"Alright." Sheldon took a large gulp as Penny passed out beside him.

* * *

><p>"Soft kitty, happy kitty, purr, purr, warm kitty." Penny sang as Sheldon held onto her shoulders so she wouldn't fall.<p>

"That's not even the correct order." He retorted as she continued to sing. "You're ruining the song."

She mumbled something incoherent as Sheldon opened the door to their room, letting go of Penny for a second. She swayed and fell into his chest, earning a yelp from Sheldon.

He dragged her inside and groaned, looking up to her bunk and back at the chair. There was no way she could sleep in a chair.

"Penny, are you well enough to climb into the top bunk?" Sheldon asked as Penny grinned. "Of course I can."

She stumbled toward the bed and bumped against the ladder as Sheldon shook his head. Penny slowly began to ascend step by step but then slipped, causing him to reach for the closest thing he could grasp; her hips.

"Thanks Sheldon." She slurred again.

Penny then slithered into her bed and said goodnight before passing out drunk.

Sheldon stood frozen there looking at his hands. He felt his heart rate quicken and flexed his fingers.

"Fascinating."

* * *

><p>Sheldon began to stir, slowly opening his eyes when he felt something. He looked over and realized that Penny's arm and leg was sprawled on top of him. He also realized that his arm was cradled around her waist.<p>

His eyes widened and his mind began to race with thoughts of...nothing. Sheldon's mind was blank for the first time in his life. It wasn't filled with thoughts of 'people can't be in my bed', 'people can't be touching me' or of his germ phobia. He also hadn't shouted 'danger, danger' nor did he feel frightened.

Sheldon looked at Penny; her face was content. He recognized that facial expression and his eyes glanced down to her thigh across his body. Sheldon suddenly realized he didn't want to wake her up, but he still needed to void his bladder.

He placed his other hand on her thigh to move it and stopped, his hand refusing to push her away. It was like his brain had short-circuited and wasn't sending signals to his hand. Penny then started to stir, causing Sheldon to panic, his eyes darting back and forth from Penny to his hand now permanently glued to her thigh.

She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and glanced up; looking into Sheldon's dark terrified eyes.

"I'm so sorry honey; I must have mixed up the beds last night." She apologized, getting up and feeling the warmth leaving her thigh as Sheldon's face looked confused.

He darted from the bed and ran to his laptop as Penny blinked at him. She touched the place where his hand was and felt shivers run down her spine, causing her to shake her head quickly. Penny looked back at Sheldon typing furiously as he muttered something about Physics and epiphany.

**Thank you for reading and please review!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Sadly, I don't own The Big Bang Theory**

After her shower Penny walked into the room and overheard Sheldon Skyping with Raj. "That's brilliant Sheldon!"

He raised his eyebrow. "Of course Raj, I knew it could be proven."

Penny quietly sat down and continued to listen.

"Really? We've been working on this for months and now you've found the answer? That can't be coincidence. You probably didn't want to share credit with me." Raj crossed his arms and glared at him on the screen.

"I assure you, I have figured it out just now. We agreed to share credit Raj so don't be alarmed."

"Then how did you reach the conclusion that black hole auroras and dark matter are linked after it was already discredited?" Raj pried and noticed that Sheldon frowned.

"I don't want to talk about it." Sheldon responded.

"When we publish the paper you'll have to write how you came to this realization. You always have an anecdote for your discoveries." Raj explained earning a twitch from Sheldon.

"It's not appropriate." He retorted.

"It can't be that bad. What did you do?"

Penny let out a laugh scaring Raj. "There's a woman there Sheldon?"

"I thought you couldn't speak in the presence of a woman."

"I can't see her so it's fine. Why are you on a train with a woman?"

Sheldon sighed. "It's not just a woman, its Penny and-"

Raj then gasped. "Don't tell me you slept with Penny and came to this conclusion?"

Sheldon blinked and began to twitch, "Good day Raj."

His eyes widened. "You did! Tell me details! Don't shut the laptop on-"

* * *

><p>They finally reached Omaha and exited the train as Sheldon realized Penny was having trouble with one of her suitcases. He took it from her hand and effortlessly picked it up, walking past her.<p>

"Thanks Sheldon. But isn't it too heavy?" She asked as she walked beside him. "It isn't, at least not to me."

Penny looked around, searching for a navy Ford F-150. She spotted it and waved as a blonde woman stepped out and started walking, then running to them.

Sheldon watched as Penny squealed and darted as well; embracing her. "Ashley I've missed you so much!"

The woman squeezed Penny once more and turned to look at Sheldon. She was 30 and looked similar to Penny but with hazel eyes and two inches shorter. He looked over at her as she began to creep closer to him, before wrapping her arms around him.

"You must be Sheldon, welcome to Omaha." Ashley greeted as Sheldon looked helplessly at Penny. "Thank you." He forced out as Ashley let go of him, beaming at him.

They walked over to the truck as Sheldon loaded the suitcases into the back. Penny and Ashley climbed into the front and he climbed into the backseat. He began to shiver and Penny turned to look at him, hearing his teeth chattering. "Ashley, could you turn the heat on high?"

"No problem." She replied and cranked it as she pulled out of the parking lot. Sheldon listened to them chat as he looked out the windows at his surroundings. It reminded him of Galveston, minus the snow and the cold.

He looked to the front and several bleeps of red caught his eye. Sheldon stared in horror as Ashley's truck was lit up like a Christmas tree. Every single light that was on the dashboard was turned on. He panicked further as he noticed how fast they were going, 30 miles over the posted speed limit and he grabbed Penny's seat in front of him, holding on for dear life.

Ashley noticed that Sheldon's hands were gripping the sides of the seat and looked over at Penny in confusion. She turned to look at him as Sheldon screamed out "Eyes on the road!"

She snapped her head back to the front and glanced over at Penny who rolled her eyes. "Ashley, could you slow down a bit too? I don't want Sheldon to get a panic attack again."

* * *

><p>"Welcome to our home, Sheldon." Penny's mother greeted, embracing him. Her mother was the same height as Ashley and also had blonde hair that was starting to turn grey. "Penny's told us so much about you."<p>

He looked over at Penny and stared at her, causing her to smile. Sheldon didn't know that she mentioned him to her mother; he assumed she talked about Leonard since they were involved before. Wyatt greeted Sheldon as well and shook his hand.

"You've got a good grip boy." He complimented, releasing Sheldon's hand. "Leonard had the strength of a 12-year-old girl."

"Alright, Sheldon you can have Ashley's old room, it's right across the hall from Penny's room." Her mother said as Sheldon nodded in agreement.

Ashley looked at her watch. "I've got to get back to work. Nice to meet you Sheldon."

"It was pleasant meeting you as well." He replied as she walked out the front door.

Penny picked up her bag as Sheldon took her heavy one along with his and followed her up the stairs.

"What a gentleman." Her mother replied, walking into the kitchen as Wyatt sat down at the table.

"He is. I should take him to the barn. I wonder if he'll tip a cow on himself."

* * *

><p>Sheldon walked around his room, it was cleaner than he expected it to be. Penny definitely didn't take after her mother. He pulled out his own sheets and made the bed.<p>

Penny came a few moments later and saw Sheldon sitting at the desk with his laptop. He heard her come in and looked at her. "Thank you for letting me come with you Penny."

"You're welcome sweetie."

"I would also like to apologize for this morning when I touched your thigh." Sheldon said, focusing on Penny's eyes.

"Apology accepted. Why did you look so frightened?" She asked curiously as he closed his laptop.

"I was afraid you thought I had 'come onto you' and I was going to get punched."

"I would never punch you Sheldon."

"You already did once."

"But not deliberately. I thought you were a thief."

He nodded and followed her downstairs.

* * *

><p>"This activity is dangerous."<p>

"It's perfectly safe." She glared at him.

"Why must we do this Penny?" He asked as she strapped his feet to the skis.

"Skiing and snowboarding is fun Sheldon. Shouldn't you try everything before you die?"

He looked at her. "Not if I want to die an early death. I need to fuse myself-"

Penny held up her hand. "Yeah, yeah the robot thing. But I guarantee you'll enjoy yourself."

"Not likely. I'll probably fall off the mountain or break all the bones in my body."

She rolled her eyes and gave him a push, causing him race down the mountain screaming.

* * *

><p>"I withdraw my previous conclusion, this is enjoyable."<p>

Penny beamed. "See? I taught you something again."

Sheldon glanced over at her. "Fine. I suppose you did. But Penny I just realized we are very high up. Won't we get lost?"

"I know this mountain like the back of my hand. Don't worry Sheldon."

The snowfall began to increase and the wind blew violently, causing him to shiver. "Do you want to stop for today?"

"I would appreciate that. I could use some tea now instead of freezing to death."

She sighed. "That's not going to happen, Sheldon."

They began to descend the mountain and noticed that the lifts didn't work.

"Maybe they're having some technical issues." Penny mused causing Sheldon to panic.

"What? How can there be technical difficulties? Don't they have inspections to see whether or not people are still on the mountain?"

"Whoa, calm down Sheldon."

"How can I be calm? We are in the middle of a snow storm and I can barely see anything in front of me."

Penny saw the frightened look in his eyes. "Okay, we can't stay outside though. We passed a cabin a while ago we can stay there until the storm passes."

Sheldon twitched. "A while ago? We passed the cabin an hour ago. By the time we get there in this storm we'll freeze to death."

"How was I supposed to know there was going to be a storm? There was nothing on the news." Penny replied, shielding her face from the wind.

"Penny, storms can happen at any time on a mountain." Sheldon retorted, squinting to see any signs of life.

"Do you want to stay here then?" She asked earning a look from Sheldon.

"Of course not."

"Then let's go." Penny ordered, turning around to trek back up the mountain.

"Either way we're going to die. At least we ate our final meal before coming here."

"Sheldon!"

"Alright, but I blame you."

**Thank you for reading and please review!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Sadly, I don't own The Big Bang Theory**

After half an hour the snow got deeper and was already up to their knees.

"Good Lord, we're completely soaked." Sheldon exclaimed, shielding his face from the wind. "It's a wonder we haven't died from hypothermia. Did you check if you have a signal on your phone yet?"

Penny glanced over at Sheldon. "Nope, still nothing."

The snow was sticking to his coat and pants. He looked like the abominable snowman. She probably didn't look better.

They started to grow tired, they weren't used to maneuvering through the snow and it felt like glass was being whipped against their faces.

"Penny, I'm freezing."

"And I'm not?"

"We're in this predicament because of you so do something about it." He said earning a look from Penny.

"Sheldon don't be a child. We're almost there."

They continued to walk and Sheldon broke the silence again.

"I think my core body temperature is plummeting at an alarming rate. We'll die in the snow and the bears will feast on our flesh."

"There are no bears here." Penny replied weakly.

"Point. Then wolves." He answered with chattering teeth.

Silence.

"Look, there's the cabin. We're saved!" Sheldon shouted and started to walk faster.

Silence.

"Penny?" He asked, wondering if she was ignoring him; he had that effect on people.

He turned around and saw her collapsed on the ground.

"Good God! Penny, are you alright?" He lifted her slightly up by her arms and started to shake her awake.

"You can't fall asleep. That's the worst thing you can do." She didn't open her eyes causing Sheldon to panic.

He shook her again, more forcefully and watched her eyes slowly open. "Can you stand?"

She let out a groan and tried to stand but she was too weak. Sheldon brought her up to her feet and picked her up in his arms bridal style.

He walked up to the cabin's porch and set her down on the bench near the door. Sheldon began to furiously knock but there was no answer. He then tried the doorknob; it was unlocked.

Penny slowly stood up and Sheldon gripped her shoulders, leading her into the cabin. He sat her down on the floor near the fireplace and placed his soaked mittens on a hook near the door. He then began to scour the small room for lighters or matches.

Looking through the cupboards he finally found a packet of matches. He picked up a log beside the fireplace and placed it in, lighting it with a match. It didn't take long to catch on fire and threw another log in.

"S-sheldon I'm f-freezing." Penny stuttered as he took off his jacket. He walked over to her and began to take off her boots and jacket as well; they were completely soaked through, leaving a puddle on the floor.

Sheldon saw that her jeans were completely soaked through as well as her hoodie. "Penny, are you wearing several layers of clothes?'

"Y-yes." She answered, shivering uncontrollably.

"Good." He unzipped her hoodie to find a blue t-shirt which was also soaked through so he took it off. The white tank top also didn't help and was just as wet, allowing him to see her black brassiere.

Sheldon twitched and looked up at her. Her face was slightly red and her eyes were glazed. Placing his hand to her forehead he immediately noticed she was burning up

"You have a fever. And as far as I know there are no medical supplies available."

"I've h-had fevers b-before. N-no big deal." She said as Sheldon looked at her.

"Penny your wet clothes are hindering the situation. I need to remove all the articles of your clothing."

"What? W-Why?"

"If I don't you'll die. This is a basic survival skill." He explained and he got up, walking to the shelf near the cupboards to pick up the blanket.

"A-alright." Penny replied as Sheldon placed the blanket beside her.

He closed his eyes and started to take off her clothes with Penny directing him. When Sheldon was done she took the blanket and draped across her body as she leaned against the wall.

"Okay, y-you can open them n-now." Penny ordered, her voice not as weak as before.

He did and stood up, looking at the pile of clothes on the floor. Sheldon shivered and looked down at his clothes. He was completely soaked as well and momentarily forgot about his well being to take care of Penny. It was odd but felt normal to him somehow.

Sheldon started stripping down and breathed a sigh of relief that his boxers were at least dry. He watched as Penny got up and walked over to the loveseat in the middle of the room and sat down.

"You're w-wearing boxers?" She asked curiously.

"Yes, I read online that it's more comfortable to wear them while skiing." Yeah, he would research something like that.

Sheldon picked up his clothes along with Penny's and walked toward the empty bucket near the door. He started wringing out the water from the clothes and placing them one by one in front of the fireplace on the floor.

She watched as he carefully placed each article on the floor, his back illuminated by the fire. Penny was mesmerized by how toned his body actually was and she closed her eyes. Was she just checking out Sheldon Cooper?

He continued to wring out the clothes when he got to her black underwear and bra. Sheldon recognized them from their neighbor war when he strung them on the telephone wires. It was a stupid thing to do and he was desperate to win the fight back then.

When he finished he sat down on the floor near the loveseat and wrapped his arms around his body to keep warm. Penny's eyes trailed from his neck, arms and back.

"Penny, are you sufficiently warm?" He asked genuinely looking over at her.

"Yes much better."

"I'm glad." He replied, rocking back and forth to generate heat.

"Sheldon, you're freezing. Come sit beside me."

He looked over at her as if waiting for permission and she nodded. Sheldon stood up and walked over to the loveseat, sitting down beside her.

Penny slightly opened the blanket towards him. "You'll catch a cold Sheldon."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

He moved over closer to her and she placed the blanket over him. Sheldon relaxed instantly and leaned closer, the right side of her body warming his.

"Sheldon?"

"What is it Penny?"

She looked over at him, locking his eyes with hers. "Thank you for saving me."

"You're welcome Penny." He turned to look at the fire again.

She leaned closer and placed a kiss on his cheek, feeling the slight twitch of his face.

"You are a modern day knight in shining armor."

* * *

><p>"Angela I'm sure Penny is alright." Wyatt reassured his wife as she stared out the window.<p>

"I'm sure they are at the chalet safe and sound."

She turned to look at him. "Maybe we should have sent Ashley to go with her."

"She'll be fine. It's not like she's alone. Sheldon is with her so there's nothing to worry about. They haven't been able to call because the lines are down."

"Are you sure?"

He smiled. "Have I ever been wrong?"

* * *

><p>Sheldon sat awake watching the fire as Penny slept, her head resting on his shoulder. He reached up to touch his cheek where she kissed him. When Amy kissed him he felt nothing and it sped up her nausea. But Penny's kiss, however brief, sent a jolt of electricity through his body. When they got back to the house he would have to research it on Google.<p>

He recalled their conversation a few months ago when he had asked her out on a date. She didn't say no or yes but instead thought that he wanted to make Amy jealous.

If he was to be honest with himself, he would say that he likes Penny, more than just a friend and his feelings only increased through the years.

Only he doesn't know how to act on those emotions. He's a Physicist not a hippie.

Penny let out a small cough and he froze.

"Great, now I'm infected." He muttered under his breath.

* * *

><p>Her eyes opened to the ray of light that shown in through the small window. Penny looked around and noticed she was lying vertically on the couch with Sheldon's chest pressed against her back.<p>

Remembering the frightened look in his eyes on the train she slipped out from under the covers carefully so as not to wake him.

She walked over to the now extinguished fireplace and touched her clothes on the floor. They were completely dry and she started putting them on.

Her stomach growled and she looked around but found nothing. Penny didn't even notice that Sheldon had woken up and was starting to put on his clothes.

"Good morning Penny." He said causing her to jump.

"Good morning. Are you ready to go Sheldon?"

He nodded and touched his jacket before putting it back on. "I hope the lifts are working. I'm going to file a complaint as soon as we get to the chalet."

Penny smiled. Still a wackadoodle.

* * *

><p>"Thank God the two of you are alright." Penny's mother breathed a sigh of relief as she hugged the two of them.<p>

"If it wasn't for Sheldon I would've been a goner." Penny said as Wyatt looked over at him.

"My judgement was right. You're one hell of a man."

Sheldon stared at him before replying, "Thank you Mr. Lane."

"That makes me sound old. Just call me Wyatt."

* * *

><p>"Oh my God, seriously?" Ashley asked as Penny told her everything that happened in the cabin. "And he didn't try anything? Is he gay?"<p>

She paused, he really didn't. If she was with any other guy or even Leonard he would have taken advantage of the situation and insisted on sex in order to keep warm as a way to ensure survival.

Penny smirked. "I'm pretty sure he isn't. He has a 'girlfriend'."

She looked at her confused. "Why did you say it with air quotes?"

"It's because they're together but not actually together. It's just a formality on paper."

Ashley's eyes widened. "Who writes a contract to date? Is he crazy?"

Penny shook her head. "No, that's not it. He likes everything on paper, a sort of reassurance."

She paused. "It's weird but I think I understand. So do you like him?"

Penny nodded. "I like Sheldon, he's a good guy but I don't think he's the man for me. I don't think he would be open to having a normal relationship with a woman."

"Maybe he doesn't know how. You should teach him."

She grinned, "Like an experiment."

"Oh my god, he's totally rubbing off on you!"

* * *

><p>"My brother Patrick is arriving today." Penny started, looking at Sheldon. "I think you two might hit it off."<p>

"And how did you come to this hypothesis?" He asked not looking up from his laptop.

"Well you're both into comic books and science."

He looked over at her. "That isn't a relative factor. Federal prison is."

Penny glared at him. "He's only been to jail once."

"True, but all it takes is one visit in order for the process to be repeated."

She sighed and lay back on the bed.

"Penny, people can't be on my bed."

"It's not your bed." She retorted.

He paused. "Point. People can't be on my sheets."

* * *

><p>Sheldon watched as a tall man with short dark brown hair embraced Penny. "It's good to see you Patrick."<p>

"Likewise" he replied as he lifted her up and twirled, causing her to laugh.

"You haven't done that since we were little." Penny mused letting her arms drop from her neck.

He looked over at Sheldon. "Aren't you going to introduce me to your friend?"

"Of course. This is Sheldon. My best friend and neighbor from Pasadena."

He looked over at Penny and she beamed. "Sheldon this is my older brother Patrick."

They shook hands and exchanged smiles as he turned to his mother."Is my room still vacant?" She nodded as he followed her up the stairs.

Sheldon looked over at Penny and motioned to her. "Since when have I been your best friend? Isn't Amy your 'bestie'"

"Yes, but you're my male 'bestie'. I'm sorry honey. Have I made you uncomfortable?"

"Of course not." He replied.

"I guess it's been since you broke into my apartment and cleaned it." Penny answered earning a look from Sheldon.

"I thought you were disenchanted when that happened."

"I was but I realized that was your Sheldon-ly way of showing you cared."

He watched as Penny turned and sat down on the couch. "Come and sit Sheldon."

"Alright, but that's my spot."

She rolled her eyes and shifted over before fixing her eyes on the television.

Wyatt was leaning against the corner of the wall watching them the whole time.

"He's an odd one alright but I like him better than Leonard."

**Thank you for reading and please review!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Sadly, I don't own The Big Bang Theory**

"So, Penny told me you're a Physicist." Patrick said, organizing his flasks in the basement.

"And she told me two years ago that you're 'kind of a' Chemist."

He laughed. "I guess you could say that."

Sheldon watched as he flipped through his notebook.

"I'm not sure I'm comfortable being an accomplice." Sheldon defended earning a smirk from him.

"Relax, I'm not making drugs; I don't want to go back to jail. I have a massive headache and I'm out of my pills."

His eyes widened. "You're making Tylenol?"

"Nope, my formula is much better than generic store brands and works quicker."

Sheldon walked over to him and looked at the page next to his ecstasy recipe.

He scanned the ingredients. "Remarkable. And there are no side-effects?"

"Nope, tested it on myself and I'm perfectly fine."

Sheldon pondered. "Instead of making drugs, why don't you patent your formula and have the FDA test it?"

He looked over at Sheldon. "I'm a high school graduate without a degree in the field. Who would take me seriously?"

Sheldon nodded. "Then why did you make, distribute and take drugs?"

"Whoa, I only made and distributed them for money. I wouldn't take them myself. I'm not that stupid."

Sheldon stared back at the notebook. "Hmm, I believe I could help with that."

* * *

><p>Penny opened the door to Patrick's bedroom and saw Sheldon scribbling something onto a whiteboard.<p>

"Oh God. Don't tell me you've sucked Sheldon into a life of crime?"

They both turned to look at her.

"No." They answered in unison and continued to write together on the board.

"Alrighty then. It's great to see you two getting along but Christmas dinner will be ready in 20 minutes."

They waved and Penny watched as they started to argue before closing the door behind her.

* * *

><p>"Here." Wyatt said, pouring a glass of spiced wine for Sheldon. "Drink up."<p>

He looked over at Penny; he knew turning down a drink from an elder wasn't proper etiquette.

"Thank you." He said, taking a sip. The alcohol went down smoother than he thought.

The rest of the dinner resulted in gossip and chatting about events, including reminiscing about past Christmases.

Sheldon watched them felt like he belonged in the Lane family. Like he was one of them, accepted with opened arms and respected.

He excused himself for a moment and went to his room, slightly tipsy, pulling out his cell phone. He dialed and placed the phone to his ear.

"Hello mother. Merry Christmas."

* * *

><p>He walked back down and was given another glass of spiced wine by Penny. "Here drink up."<p>

Sheldon took a sip and followed her to the window, watching as her parents, nephew, Patrick, Ashley and her brother-in-law having a snowball fight.

After a long silence he spoke up. "Penny. I've come to realize that my feelings toward you cannot be veiled."

She looked over at him as he continued. "Given that your past bewildering relationship with Leonard isn't a relevant factor in the matter, I would like to alter our friendship paradigm."

Penny smiled and looked down at his twitching hand. He slowly grasped his hand in hers and she entwined their fingers, causing Sheldon to relax.

"Interesting."

* * *

><p>Knock. Knock. Knock. Penny.<p>

Knock. Knock. Knock. Penny.

She groaned and looked over at the clock; it was 8 AM.

Knock. Knock. Knock. Penny.

She dragged herself out of bed and opened the door. "Yes Sheldon?"

"Good morning Penny. Given the events of last night I've decided that I would like to spend New Year's Eve with my family."

She leaned against the door frame. "After spending time with your family, I've realized that I've missed them."

"Awww, that's so sweet Sheldon. But why are you telling me this?"

Sheldon clasped his hands behind him. "I would like you to accompany me to Texas."

She smiled. "I would love to. When would you like to leave?"

"I'm glad. The train leaves in an two hours." He replied, causing Penny to open her mouth in shock. "I've already printed out the tickets."

She rubbed her eyes. "I need to tell my parents that I'm leaving earlier then."

"No need. I have already informed them and it isn't a problem. Your father for some reason took me to the barn to see if I would 'tip a cow over on myself' as some sort of fraternity initiation."

Her eyes widened. "And did you?"

Sheldon scoffed. "Of course not. It's a harmless cow. Chickens are far more dangerous."

"...Okay. I'll go get ready then." She said and was about to close the door when Sheldon stopped her.

"Penny, a moment. Could we take another vehicle to the train station? I feel fiery peril is imminent in your sister's truck."

* * *

><p>Sheldon typed on his laptop and sent his documents to the printer as Penny walked into his room.<p>

"What'cha doing?" She asked as he stapled the documents together.

"I have enforced section 10 of the relationship agreement with Amy Farah Fowler."

Penny looked at him confused.

"Section 10 states that if Penny realizes that 'I'm the guy' the relationship will be terminated immediately."

Penny suddenly felt bad. "And what did Amy say?"

"Oh, she knew about this when she signed the contract and explained that her feelings toward me aren't romantic. She relayed the news to Stuart and he's ecstatic."

She smiled and embraced him, causing him to squeak in surprise. "I never knew that you liked me that much Sheldon."

He hugged her back, much more normal than the second one he initiated years ago. "I chose you over Raj, remember? Also I changed my schedule to accommodate you in my life since you first moved in across the hall."

She gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Yes, and now I know why."

Sheldon smiled as she pulled away and he put the stack of papers into her hands.

"What is this?" She said looking up at him.

"This is our relationship agreement. I would like you to look over the document and sign the papers in the specified sections. It should take you an hour to finish."

Penny smiled up at him. "Oh, I will."

She held up the agreement and ripped it cleanly down the middle, causing Sheldon's face to fall.

"What did you do that for? It took me 30 minutes to write it up."

"Sheldon, relationships can't be dictated. You have to take it one step at a time and let fate take charge."

He twitched looking at the ripped contract. "Fate? Penny, fate is nothing but-"

She pressed her lips to his cutting off his rant. He looked at her and Penny saw that his blue eyes had darkened.

"Homo Novus my ass." She said walking out of the room.

**Thank you for reading and please review!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Sadly, I don't own The Big Bang Theory**

"The horror..." Sheldon said, his eye twitching, looking at the cancellation board in the train station.

Penny stared at him. "It's not that big of a deal."

"How could you say that?" He retorted, making her roll her eyes.

"There are other modes of transportation than by train. Can't we just take a plane?"

Sheldon looked over at her. "No. I refuse to take a plane."

Penny let out a sigh. "I know I'm gonna regret this, but why?"

"A year before you moved in across the hall, I was to give a speech at NYU regarding my most recent published paper. I told President Siebert that I would take the train and he called me ridiculous and forced me to fly there instead."

She nodded as he continued. "After checking in my bag I then proceeded through airport security. Whenever I walked through the metal detector it would go off, even after I took my keys, cell phone and wallet out of my pockets."

Penny stared at him. "Everyone goes through that Sheldon. It's not that big of a deal."

"Really? Then have you ever been strip searched at airport security?"

"N-no." She said as he went on.

"I was, and after they realized I wasn't carrying any weapons or bombs they let me proceed on the airplane."

"Did they find out why you were setting of the metal detector?" Penny asked earning a glance from him.

"Sadly no, I don't think I'll ever find out."

"At least they let you on and your problems ended right?" Penny asked.

Sheldon looked back at the cancellation board. "I wish it was that simple."

She rolled her eyes. "It never is, is it?"

"I sat in my assigned seat and when we took off a child behind me kept kicking my seat. Honestly, parents are supposed to raise their children better and keep an eye on them. When we were finally allowed to get out of our seats I took out my disaster carry-on bag and put on my parachute."

Penny stared at him as if he sprouted two heads. "What? Why?"

"In the event that the plane would go down, I would like to avoid unnecessary death." He replied, earning a sigh from her.

"Didn't that scare the passengers?" She asked curiously.

"No, it didn't. However, when the child sitting behind me deployed the parachute, it caused a massive panic."

Her eyes widened as he continued. "In short, I am now banned on all American Airlines flights until 2013."

"Alright then, so no airplanes?"

Sheldon smiled. "Correct. And since our train has been cancelled due to the storm, this only leaves us one option, driving."

Penny looked out the window. "Sheldon, there's a huge blizzard and you want me to drive to Texas?"

"I'm sorry; do you not have experience driving in them?"

She turned to look at him. "I do, but-"

"Good then you can drive, let's go."

* * *

><p>"You're kidding." Leonard said, nearly choking on his pizza. He was back at the apartment and sitting in Sheldon's spot.<p>

Raj's face was displayed on his laptop. "Do I look like I'm joking? Seriously, I think that Sheldon and Penny are dating."

His brow furrowed. "This is Sheldon we're talking about. I agree them taking a train together is strange. Maybe he pressured Penny into going with him so he wouldn't be alone."

"When I asked if he slept with Penny he started twitching."

Leonard's face fell. "I don't believe this."

Raj nodded, "Plus, he's taking her home for New Year's."

He began to stutter incoherent words, before taking a deep breath. "Raj, what if Penny's pregnant?"

Raj's eyes widened. "Oh my God, Smelly Cooper knocked up Penny?"

* * *

><p>"I'm feeling very uncomfortable, Penny." Sheldon said, his eyes darting toward the passenger window.<p>

"Look this was your idea."

"I know that but does the 18-wheeler have to be in close proximity to us?" He asked his eyes wide with fear.

"Sheldon, it's snowing so hard that the lanes can't be seen. It's then up to the driver to go by feel rather than sight."

"What? You've been driving by instinct this whole time? Good Lord we're going to die."

Penny looked over at him and glared. "You should be thankful that I agreed to drive, do you know how long it'll take to get there?"

"Of course I know, 16 hours and 20 minutes in normal conditions." He recited as she looked back on the road. "Factoring in the weather, traffic and your driving skills we should get there in about 20 hours non-stop."

"Excuse me; you want me to drive without a break in this storm? Sheldon that's crazy."

He looked back at her. "No it isn't, people drive like this often. It saves time and I have complete faith in you that you'll do it."

"Well I'm not like most people. Driving in storms is tiring Sheldon, how about we switch every 6 to 8 hours? I need to rest too."

"Oh, I don't think so. Even though I now have my license, you know I don't have enough practice driving in normal conditions let alone in dangerous ones."

"Perfect." Penny said cheerfully. "Now you'll have plenty of practice."

"Drat."

* * *

><p>"This is unacceptable."<p>

Penny rolled her eyes. "You can't control the weather, Sheldon."

"I know that, but this is disrupting my schedule. If this continues we'll get there next year."

She looked over at him. "You're exaggerating too much. We'll wait until some of it clears up and we can continue driving again. It'll finally be your turn in two hours."

"I'm exaggerating? This exactly resembles the arctic weather years ago."

Penny looked back to her window and saw that the traffic was still brought to a standstill on the highway.

"At least we made it to Burlington, Kansas; the exit isn't that far away. We should probably get something to eat once we start moving again."

"Agreed."

* * *

><p>"We're now four hours behind schedule." Sheldon said, shaking his head in disappointment as they left the restaurant.<p>

Penny walked over to the passenger door and got in. Sheldon got into to the driver's seat and fastened his seat belt.

"I find this incredibly dangerous Penny, especially at night. Driving visibility is reduced-"

She cut him off. "Don't worry, you'll do fine, you've driven at night before when you took me to the hospital. At least it stopped snowing."

He turned on the ignition. "Alright, but I don't see this as a promising endeavor."

"I'll take a nap and remember you need to drive toward Bartlesville, okay?"

Sheldon nodded and pulled out onto the highway.

**Thank you for reading and please review!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Sadly, I don't own The Big Bang Theory**

Tap. Tap. Tap. "Penny."

Tap. Tap. Tap. "Penny."

Tap. Tap. Tap. "Penny."

She slowly opened her eyes and rubbed them, her eyes focusing on Sheldon. He lifted his hand from her shoulder slowly.

"Since we're in Bentonville, I would like to switch places with you." He said, unbuckling his seat belt. Penny looked out the window; they were in a McDonald's parking lot.

"Wait, Bentonville?" She asked, pulling up her seat in the upright position.

"Correct." He replied, earning a glare from Penny.

"Sheldon, I said Bartlesville. Why are we in Arkansas?"

His face fell and he started thinking. "Are you sure? I'm positive I heard Bentonville."

Penny looked at him. "I thought you never make mistakes."

"When my sleep cycle is disrupted, it seems anything is possible. Now we're behind another three hours." He said looking at his watch.

She sighed. "Alright, but this time I'm blaming you. Drive to a motel so we can get some rest, I really don't want to drive now."

He nodded, putting his seat belt back on. "I blame myself as well."

* * *

><p>Leonard sat with Howard Raj in the apartment; Howard and Bernadette were on their way back and would land in a few days.<p>

They were playing Jenga. Raj carefully pulled out a block and placed it on top. "So how do you feel that your ex is having your roommates' baby?"

Leonard looked at him over his glasses. "Look, we don't know that. Let's not jump to conclusions."

He pulled out a block next as Raj looked at him. "All the evidence is there Leonard, let Penny go. She'll have a great life with Sheldon."

Raj pulled out another block, nearly knocking over the tower.

"Yeah, Sheldon and Penny will live happily ever after while I die alone."

Raj stared at him. "Don't think that way, you'll find someone prefect for you."

"Penny is the only one for me."

"Dude, let it go."

Leonard threw his hands up in frustration. "I can't. There's a voice in the back of my head that keeps telling me that I still have a shot with Penny."

Raj took a bite of his chicken nugget. "You knew that I liked Bernadette. When they got engaged I let it go and so should you. Even more if a child is in the picture."

Leonard frowned. "You're right. Can you imagine me raising Sheldon's child?"

Raj laughed. "Yeah, you can't handle one Sheldon, let alone two."

* * *

><p>Sheldon stared at the queen bed, his face twitching as Penny walked out of the bathroom.<p>

"I don't think I can do this Penny." He exclaimed, as she stood beside him.

"There's nothing to be worried about."

"Of course there is, the amount of pathogens in that bed could easily kill us." Sheldon retorted as Penny rolled her eyes. "At least let me change the sheets."

"Fine, Sheldon. If it'll make you feel better." She said, pulling out a chair as he whipped his head around.

"Don't sit there! I'm out of disinfectant wipes!" He screamed, causing Penny to freeze in mid-sit. "If you don't want to sleep on the floor, I suggest you take another shower before placing your person in that chair."

She stood up and crossed her arms, watching Sheldon put on a pair of gloves. He ripped off the sheets and cover, before folding them and placing them on the table near the window.

"What about the pillows, honey?" She asked, causing him to stop making the bed.

"Way ahead of you." Sheldon replied, darting toward his bag and pulling out two pillows.

Penny smiled; of course he brought his own pillows. She climbed in beside Sheldon as he turned off the lamp on the night table.

"Goodnight Penny." He said smiling, as Penny gave him a peck on his cheek.

"Goodnight Sheldon."

* * *

><p>"This is impossible." Penny said, staring at the empty parking space. "What are the chances of getting your rented car stolen in a motel parking lot?"<p>

Sheldon looked at her. "Easily calculable, if you-"

She lifted her hand. "It was a rhetorical question, Sheldon."

"At least we took our luggage into the motel with us." He added, pulling out his cell phone. "I have a low signal. Now what are we going to do?"

Penny looked around, at least it wasn't snowing. "We can't take a plane, train or car. How about we go by bus?"

Sheldon's eyes widened. "Oh, I don't think so. The last time I took a bus-"

"I know, Wil Wheaton. What else could we do besides hitchhiking?" She asked, as he started to twitch.

"Sure, why not? After we hitch a ride with a stranger we'll get murdered and have our bodies thrown out onto the highway. After which our decaying flesh will be feasted upon by nearby wildlife." He replied, his southern drawl coming out.

Penny's mouth opened wide. "Alright, you have a point. Well, we can't walk to Galveston. Any other ideas?"

They stood there in silence for a few minutes before Sheldon spoke up. "I can't think of anything, might as well start walking."

"You can't be serious, Sheldon. With an IQ of 187 you really can't figure anything out?"

He looked down at his shoes and back up at Penny. "No."

"How about we call the rental company? I'm sure we can get another car."

Sheldon twitched. "I doubt it, we'll have to pay the replacement cost. It isn't worth renting another vehicle, in case it may get stolen again."

Penny picked up her suitcase. "Alright, then pick: bus or hitchhiking?"

Sheldon picked up his suitcase and hers, looking back at the road and then at Penny.

"Well, it's an easy question. Which is it?"

"Hold on, I'm thinking the worst possible outcomes for both options. You can never be too careful when it comes to safety."

**Thank you for reading and please review!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Sadly, I don't own The Big Bang Theory**

"Honestly, I don't see how anyone can enjoy traveling by bus."

"It'll be fine Sheldon, the Greyhound is very comfortable."

"Highly unlikely."

Penny stared him down. "Would you rather take your chances with hitchhiking?"

"What do you think?"

"Then don't complain, dear."

He was about to make a snide comment but stopped himself. Penny called him 'dear'. This was new. Sheldon chuckled to himself as the bus barreled down the highway.

"As soon as we get to Fort Smith, we are taking the train due to insufficient leg room. My veins and arteries are clogged."

Penny looked over at him. "What?"

"My legs are falling asleep."

"We're almost there, just another 10 minutes."

Sheldon scoffed. "Might as well be 10 hours."

* * *

><p>Sheldon stretched his legs walking around the bus station at Fort Smith. He walked slowly over to the vending machine for a Coca-Cola and turned to look toward the large window.<p>

'Better light rain than snow.' He thought, taking a sip before choking.

Sheldon ran to the window and stared in disbelief.

"Penny!"

He called out and turned to look for her, but she wasn't in sight. Taking the luggage, he speed walked toward the food court and spotted the golden blonde ordering coffee at Starbucks.

"Penny, I turn around for a second and you disappear."

"Sheldon, I said I was getting coffee."

"Irrelevant. Come with me quickly." He ordered, placing his hand under her forearm and directing her toward large window.

"Does that look familiar?" He asked earning a look from Penny.

"There's lots of Honda Civics. How can you be sure it's ours?"

"Besides the model and the silver color, it's undeniable that the license plate numbers are identical. Penny, you know I have an eidetic memory."

She took a sip as Sheldon glared at her. "Just check with your remote. See if it responds."

Penny did as she was told and the car lights blinked in confirmation."Ha, what are the chances?"

Sheldon stared at the car and Penny could see the gears turning in his head. "Huh, I can't seem to calculate the chances. It's impossible that the thieves happened to drive to the same location on the same highway and reach the stop just before we did."

"It's a lucky coincidence." She said cheerfully, walking out the door as he followed behind.

"First of all, luck is nonexistent and coincidences are-"

"Sheldon, can't you just be happy that we have our car back?"

"I was getting to that." He replied, putting the suitcases in the trunk.

* * *

><p>"This is odd." Sheldon mused aloud, looking around and under the seat. "I would have expected some traces of the thieves to be left behind."<p>

Penny kept her eyes on the road. "Like what?"

"Anything. Like beverages, fast food, change, or a weapon of some sort."

Penny blinked at him. "Why would they have a weapon?"

"Don't all thieves have weapons on them? Besides I've noticed that part of the door on my side is bent from some object. I believe that's how they stole our car; it's also been hot wired."

She looked back on the road. "I've noticed that. My brother's friends used to hot wire cars for fun."

He stared at her. "How is that fun? Anyway back to topic. Why would they steal our car and drive it up to Fort Smith? What is their purpose?"

"Who knows?" She said sighing. "Sometimes it's better not to know. Look, we'll be in Houston in eight hours so let's just enjoy the trip."

Sheldon nodded. "Alright."

* * *

><p>"Did you call your mother that we'll arrive at 8 PM?" Penny asked, sitting in the passenger seat. There were an hour away from Galveston and three hours ago she decided it was time for Sheldon to practice. He was getting better at driving, even driving with one hand. She giggled, so much for both hands on the wheel.<p>

"I did when you stopped for a bathroom break two cities ago. She's probably praying for our safe journey by now."

Penny smiled and looked at the passenger side mirror. Flashing red and blue lights danced in the distance, making her eyes dart over to look at Sheldon.

"Um, how fast are you driving?" She asked hesitantly, earning a look from him.

"The posted speed limit, why?"

"The police are following us, you have to pull over." Penny said, placing her hand on him arm.

Sheldon's eyes widened. "But why? I didn't do anything illegal!"

Penny started at him and he obeyed, pulling over as the cop car slowly parked behind them.

Sheldon's grip on the steering wheel tightened, turning his knuckles white.

"Honey, calm down. Maybe they're doing a ride check; I've been stopped before years ago. It's nothing to be worried about. He's just going to give you a breathalyzer test." She said rubbing her hand on his arm, making him calm enough to release his grip on the steering wheel.

Two police officers got out of the cruiser and walked up to the driver and passenger sides. Sheldon rolled his window down along with Penny.

"Good evening officer." Sheldon greeted, earning a look from the man.

"Good evening, please step out of the car. Both of you."

Sheldon looked over at Penny and she nodded as they unbuckled their seat belts. He stepped out of the car as the police officer turned him around and handcuffed him. Penny was also handcuffed and looked over at Sheldon in confusion.

"You are both under arrest for possession of a stolen vehicle, armed robbery and assault in Springdale, Arkansas."

* * *

><p>Penny and Sheldon stood side by side, looking at the iron bars in front of them.<p>

"Penny, this is the second time I've been in jail."

"I know, for me it's the first." She replied as Sheldon turned to look around the cell, there was nothing but a bunk bed.

"It'll be fine, even though we match the description of the thieves perfectly, they just need to contact the car rental company and we'll be free to go. The weapon wasn't in the car so that's a point in our favor."

Sheldon was staring at the bottom bunk, examining it for any grime and bacteria that might be present on the mattress. "Penny, in the worst case scenario, by the time they contact the company in Omaha we will be stuck here until tomorrow morning, resulting in spending the night in jail."

She rolled her eyes as he tried to sit down like it was a hot stove. "You must be optimistic, not pessimistic."

"I'm not pessimistic, I'm being realistic Penny. Hold on, I know what to do." Sheldon retorted, looking past her at the officer by their cell.

"Excuse me officer," He called out, walking over to the bars. "I believe I'm entitled to a phone call. I know my rights."

* * *

><p>"Yes mother, I'm in jail."<p>

Penny looked over at Sheldon as he fidgeted with the phone cord in the cell.

"No, I assure you I haven't done anything illegal."

"Mother, it's all a misunderstanding."

"No, I haven't tried to buy Uranium again."

The police officer shot him a look and Sheldon looked down at his feet.

"Mother, I need you to bail us out."

"Yes I know you don't drive."

"Missy lives here in Houston; I need you to call her."

"No, they took my cell phone. I don't know Missy's new number off the top of my head."

"Yes, thank you mother. Goodbye." He said, placing the phone back in its cradle.

* * *

><p>"Shelly, what did you do now?" Missy asked, her arms crossed across her chest.<p>

"I've done nothing. We're both innocent and have explained everything during our interrogation."

They nodded through the iron bars as the police officer pulled out his key and unlocked the cell.

"Penny it's good to see you again." She said in her Texas drawl, hugging Penny as she squeezed her back. "I'm happy to see you again too."

Missy turned to look at her brother and outstretched her hands. "Come on, I haven't seen you in four years."

Sheldon slightly opened his arms when Missy hugged him first and then he hugged her back.

"Shelly, you don't hug like a robot anymore." She grinned, looking back at Penny.

They signed the release forms and walked toward into the parking lot. Missy walked behind them and observed from a distance. Sheldon's right hand slipped into Penny's and they both smiled at each other as he opened the passenger door for her.

**Thank you for reading and please review!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Sadly, I don't own The Big Bang Theory**

Missy opened the door for them to her apartment; it was already too late for them to drive to Galveston. She called her mother to not worry about Sheldon and Penny for they would leave in the afternoon.

"And that's our trip so far." Penny finished, explaining their adventure to Missy causing her to open her mouth in shock.

"Oh my, that's a journey you won't be able to forget until you die."

Penny nodded in agreement as Sheldon stepped out of the bathroom, clad in his Wednesday pajamas. He looked over at Missy and Penny, the look on his sister's face confirmed his theory that Penny had told her about their trip.

"Since it's now past 11, my sleep cycle has been disturbed." He looked around the apartment; there was no indication of another bedroom. "Missy where do you presume we sleep, I trust not on the floor?"

"Of course not, Shelly." She replied, standing up from the couch with Penny. After a few minutes, he realized it was a futon, causing his face to fall.

"Missy, these are very uncomfortable, how are we supposed to achieve REM sleep?"

She placed her hands on her hips and glared at him. "Would you like to sleep on the floor then while Penny takes the futon?"

He didn't reply and just watched as she walked to her closet and pulled out a comforter, spreading it out on the futon.

"Thank you Missy." Penny thanked, earning a smile from her.

"No need to thank me Penny. Goodnight, you two."

"Goodnight." Sheldon and Penny said in union as Missy walked into her room.

* * *

><p>"How about I give you a tour of Houston?" Missy asked cheerfully, eating breakfast with Sheldon and Penny. "Or maybe we could go shopping?"<p>

Penny's face lit up as Sheldon's darkened.

"Yes." "No."

Missy stared at them when they turned to look at each other.

"Why not Sheldon, it'll be fun." Penny pressed as he finished his French toast. "I've never been in Texas so I want to go sightseeing."

"Sightseeing will eventually lead to shopping sprees. Don't you have enough clothes?" He asked putting his plate in the sink. "It's a wonder that your closet hasn't exploded by now."

Missy's eyebrow shot up. "You snoop in Penny's closet?"

"I'd hardly call it snooping. On occasion I organize her closet for her."

She looked over at Penny, who swallowed her last bite. "It's true. He organizes it according to the seasons, colors and styles. It varies."

Missy looked over at Sheldon. "Really? How long has this been going on?"

"Since Penny moved in across the hall. The first time was when Leonard and I hauled her furniture up to her apartment and saw the chaos within it."

"Hey, I just moved in and I didn't feel like organizing everything." Penny defended.

"What about after you moved it? What about the last four years?"

Missy looked back and forth between them. "Hold on, are you telling me that Shelly cleans your apartment?"

"Yup, from time to time." She replied, turning to look at her. "It's always when I sleep or I'm at work."

"Isn't that creepy?" Missy asked, earning a look from Sheldon.

"It was at first, but I realized it was his way of showing he cares."

Missy smiled looking at them. Sheldon was always a clean freak and he would never clean her room when they were kids, even if looked like a disaster area. But for him to go this far and clean his neighbor's apartment? That was something.

"Alright, so ready to go?" She asked, picking up her purse as Penny followed her. They turned to look at Sheldon.

"You're not coming?" Penny asked.

"I'd prefer not to. Missy, do you have the internet yet?"

She shook her head, causing Sheldon to sigh and stand up.

"Alright, but this isn't a promising endeavor."

* * *

><p>"Oh my God! Look at these shoes!" Penny squealed in delight as she ran into another store with Missy as Sheldon looked at them.<p>

"What is so fascinating about shoes?" Sheldon said to himself as he looked around for a comic book store. He had missed two comic books nights, causing a disruption to his schedule. Spotting a mall directory, he walked over to it and began to scan the store list.

"So, Penny. Care to tell me about your relationship with my brother?" Missy asked suspiciously, looking at a pair of red leather heels.

"Well, we're currently dating; he asked me out on Christmas." She grinned.

"That's so romantic! I didn't know Shelly had it in him. So did you two…"

Penny looked over at Missy. "No we're not there yet. He's gotten used to hand-holding, hugs and kisses. I don't want to go too fast, I don't want to break your brother again."

Her eyes widened. "What do you mean again? Do tell."

"Nothing like that, I once gave him acting lessons. You see…"

* * *

><p>"Drat. No comic book store." He said, straightening up and looking over at the two women. They were still standing in the same location, chatting away animatedly.<p>

He looked at his watch; they were supposed to leave Houston Galleria twenty minutes ago.

Penny and Missy finally emerged from the store, each with a bag in their hand. Sheldon walked over to them and the closer he approached them, they stopped talking, making his Vulcan hearing useless.

"What were you talking about? I hope it was about our punctuality."

Missy waved him off. "Just girl talk."

They said their goodbyes as Missy told Penny she would come to her mother's for New Year's Eve so they could continue chatting from where they left off.

Sheldon then started ranting about traffic and stopping for gasoline as they proceeded out of the mall.

* * *

><p>Raj, Howard, Leonard, Amy and Bernadette sat in Sheldon's apartment eating Taco Bell. Since he wasn't here they could order whatever they wanted without his nagging.<p>

"I'm starting to get worried." Bernadette spoke up, breaking the silence.

"As am I. You would think we would have heard from them by now." Amy added, causing them to nod.

"Maybe they can't get a signal or internet while on the road." Leonard mused.

Howard took a sip of his coke. "Or maybe Sheldon finally drove her mad and she murdered him."

They all looked at him in disbelief.

"Hey, it could happen." Leonard said. "I've seen Penny get mad. It's possible."

"Why would she kill the father of her child?" Bernadette asked confused.

"Sheldon has pretty good insurance. Maybe money is a relevant factor." Amy replied, taking a bite of her taco.

**Thank you for reading and please review!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Sadly, I don't own The Big Bang Theory**

Penny and Sheldon took their suitcases out of the trunk and walked up to the house. Before he could place his hand on the doorknob, the door opened, revealing his mother. He moved aside to let Penny walk inside first and followed her in as Mary hugged Penny.

"It's good to see you again." Mary squeezed her once more.

"I'm happy to see you again too Mrs. Cooper."

She walked over to Sheldon and hugged him as well. They took their suitcases upstairs as Mary made dinner for them, her fried chicken that Sheldon pestered her about the last time she visited them. Penny left Missy's old room and walked down the stairs to the kitchen. Sheldon was already seated at the table.

"Dinner's ready." She said, placing the plates in front of them. After their prayer they started eating.

"So what's going on between you two, if you don't mind me prying?" Mary asked cautiously, taking a forkful of salad.

"We are currently in a relationship mother." Sheldon replied as Penny smiled.

"I never thought that you would find a girl Shelly, you were only interested in that Science-y stuff. I'm glad it's you Penny; I've always liked you since the day I met you. And how long have you been together?" She asked smiling.

"Since Christmas." Penny answered, looking over at Sheldon.

Mary nodded. "You know I don't want one of those test-tube babies out of wedlock Sheldon."

He nodded and Penny laughed, taking a sip of her Cola.

"I assure you mother that won't happen."

"I raised you well. So when is the baby due?"

They both started choking, Sheldon on his chicken and Penny on her drink. She looked at the two of them as they recovered. Penny looked over at Sheldon and his eyes widened.

"Why do you think that Mrs. Cooper?" She asked, coughing slightly.

"Well, Sheldon brought you over for the holidays; I'm ecstatic that he did."

Penny smiled as she continued. "But even I know that's out of character for him. Plus I heard the news from a little bird."

"I always found that phrase absurd. How can a bird tell someone news let alone speak?"

Mary looked over at the two of them as they sat there in stunned silence.

"So you two haven't sinned?" She asked, her eyes darting between the two of them.

"I would hardly call it a sin. It's a natural process to propagate one's genetic line and until-."

She squealed in delight, shocking Penny and Sheldon.

"Praise the Lord, I'm finally going to be a grandmother!"

* * *

><p>Penny stood in Missy's room with Sheldon, a fearful look in his eyes.<p>

"We have to tell her the truth. She's jumping to conclusions." She said as he looked at her.

"I know. Mother didn't let me finish my sentence and when I tried to say that we haven't she kept cutting me off." He replied slightly irked.

"If we tell her she'll be crushed."

"Not to mention I'll get a scolding for lying to her even though I didn't. Mary Cooper didn't raise no liars." Sheldon plied on, looking over at her.

"So what do you suppose we do? We can't just lie to her."

Sheldon nodded. "You know I can't lie, my mother will immediately recognize my ticks unless…"

Penny stared at him in confusion. "Unless what?"

"We say it sarcastically or engage in coitus and procreate."

Her eyes widened. "Sheldon, you just got used to human contact and kissing. I don't want to have sex with you just to keep your mother happy."

"Indeed, but I have been contemplating when and how it would occur. I've kept my mind open to the possibility since our paradigm shift."

Her face softened in surprise. "Really? Dr. Germa-phob?"

Sheldon crossed his arms. "It's not like I haven't engaged in the activity. I did once many years ago and the experience wasn't pleasant ergo I wasn't open to repeating it until now."

"So you would be open to having a sexual relationship with me and not just to keep your mother's happiness?" She asked looking into his eyes.

"Of course, didn't I just say that?"

She wrapped her arms around his torso and his hands naturally engulfed her. Sheldon brought his lips to hers slowly and she deepened the kiss. His technique wasn't as bad as she thought it would be and realized that he was adapting, even getting better as the seconds went by. How was that even possible?

A knock on the door startled them and they broke the kiss abruptly.

"Penny, would you be a dear and pick up some groceries?"

She walked over to the door and opened it as Sheldon pressed his back against the wall to hide.

"Of course Mrs. Cooper. What do you need?"

Mary handed her a list and she took it. "Just a few things and thank you dear. Oh and take Sheldon with you, he could use some fresh air. Isn't that right Shelly?"

Sheldon sighed and walked up to the door beside Penny. "Yes mother."

She laughed as Mary smiled and walked back down the stairs.

"I swear my mother has x-ray vision. Even as a child she always knew where I was and what I was doing."

* * *

><p>Mary waved as they pulled out of the driveway and when they were out of sight she walked over to her phone and dialed a number.<p>

"Hello?" A voice asked on the other end.

"Leonard, its Mrs. Cooper. I believe your hunch was right."

Leonard's eyes widened. "So Penny is really pregnant?"

"I'm sure. I asked and they didn't deny it."

His brow furrowed. "Then that means they haven't confirmed it as well."

"They said that as soon as the baby is born they would come visit me again." Mary replied happily.

After she hung up, Leonard sat down on the couch and pulled out his cell phone.

"Hey Raj, yeah it's affirmative."

"We can proceed with the plan."

"Alright, you're in charge."

"Fine, it's your decision."

"Yeah, I'll call everyone else."

He hung up and leaned back into the couch. Leonard was happy for the two of them but the idea of Sheldon and Penny having a baby was baffling.

"I wonder if I stumbled into an alternate universe." He mumbled standing up. Leonard got his keys from the bowl before walking out of the apartment.

**Thank you for reading and please review!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Sorry for the late updates. It was due to the holidays and being hooked on the video game Corpse Party for the PSP.**

**Shenny fans, 9 more days to the latest episode of The Big Bang Theory!  
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**Sadly, I don't own The Big Bang Theory**

Penny drove as Sheldon scrolled through his messages. "The service throughout our trip was unacceptable. I'm now bombarded by dozens of text messages."

"Yeah, I got a few from our friends and I quickly texted them back. They were worried something happened to us." Penny replied stopping at a red light.

"Indeed and some of these are baffling. Howard's mostly consists of asking if I've been murdered." Sheldon answered confused.

Penny's eyes widened. "Why would he think that? Who would want to murder you?"

"I know; it's ridiculous."

* * *

><p>They brought the groceries inside and saw a small suitcase. Penny's face lit up; Missy had come just as she promised. Sheldon took the bags from her when Mary emerged from the kitchen.<p>

"Oh good you're back. I'm afraid I'll have to leave for two days for the year-end prayer circle. They called ten minutes ago."

Sheldon's face dropped. "What? Why?"

"The clumsy woman broke her leg and I'm the next in line to replace her because I have seniority. It's my job to lead the prayers now."

Penny looked over at Sheldon, his jaw twitched slightly. "I can't believe you're abandoning me again."

Mary stared sternly at her son. "We talked about this last time. But maybe the two you would like to join me?"

Sheldon's eyes darted to Penny then back to his mother. "As much as I might enjoy feeling the Holy Spirit entering my body and cleansing my soul I must decline."

"Penny?" She asked looking at her.

She shook her head. "I'm going to pass too Mrs. Cooper, but I can drive you there if you'd like."

Mary smiled. "How sweet, but I already have a ride. The bus is coming any minute now."

He stared at his mother as she hugged Penny. Mary turned to look at her son."Don't worry. We'll still spend New Year's like you wanted. I'll be back on the 31st in the afternoon."

They said their goodbyes as Mary climbed into the yellow bus and they waved until it drove out of sight.

* * *

><p>"So what did you do for fun here when you were little?" Penny asked as Sheldon handed her a bottle of water.<p>

"Well, besides building a CAT scanner, a death ray, bowling and nearly completing my robot before I was whisked off to college, not much. The majority of my hobbies were running from bullies, dogs, poultry and projectiles the children would try to throw at me like footballs."

"Really? No other hobbies?" She asked sinking into the couch.

"I'm afraid not. Swimming was popular among the children here but it was not an option for me as I nearly drowned while fishing for the first time with my father one summer morning."

Penny stared at him in confusion. "How do you almost drown fishing?"

"While attempting to reel in a small fish, it won the struggle and pulled me into the water quite easily. It baffles me to this day."

* * *

><p>Sheldon was pulling back the covers in his room when he heard a knock on the door. "Come in."<p>

Penny opened the door and looked at him. "Sheldon, would you be up for an experiment?"

His ears perked at the word. "What kind of experiment?"

She strode into the room and stood an arm's length away from him. "I would like to test your tolerance level for intimacy."

He paused for a moment and straightened. "How do you want to proceed?"

Penny beamed. "Whatever is comfortable for you, sweetie."

"Alright. Then do you mind if we proceeded with an experiment by you sleeping in my bed tonight? I'm already past my bedtime."

Penny rolled her eyes. "Sure honey."

They got into bed; she turned on her side and Sheldon did the same so they were facing each other.

"Goodnight Sheldon." Penny said, placing her hand on his cheek. Sheldon leaned closer, kissing her quickly on the lips. He slowly pulled away but Penny extended the kiss, moving her hand behind his head. Sheldon complied and kissed her back as his hand found her hip under the covers. She traced her tongue over his bottom lip and he granted her access allowing her to explore his mouth. They parted for air and Penny noticed that she was lying on top of him.

"Sorry Sheldon." She panted. "My emotions got the better of me."

Penny tried to slide off of him but his hands went to her waist to stop her. She looked into his eyes and noticed that they had darkened with arousal.

"Although you are a 'big ol' five' I must inform you that I am still an Alpha Male."

* * *

><p>Penny woke to find herself in Sheldon's arms. She grinned at the events of last night as she looked at his sleeping face. Penny kissed him on the cheek and slid out from the bed, picking up her tank top and shorts, along with his clothes that were strewn all over the bedroom. She folded them and walked into Missy's room to get some clean clothes. Penny took her clothes and headed toward the bathroom. She opened it only to come face to face with a man.<p>

He immediately turned around when he noticed that Penny was naked as she let out a shriek, waking Sheldon. He came out of the room after putting on his pajama bottoms as she darted past him into the room. Penny jumped into the bed and covered herself with the sheets.

"What's wrong Penny?" He asked calmly looking at her.

"There's a man in the bathroom." She replied as Sheldon's eyes widened.

"You mean a marauder?" He gasped quickly running toward the bathroom.

Penny sat there in a panic as Sheldon emerged at the door with the man. She looked at him; he was as tall as Sheldon but more muscular and looked like a cowboy.

"There is no need to be alarmed. This is my brother George." He said motioning toward him.

"This is my girlfriend Penny." The man smiled and walked over to her, shaking her hand.

"Nice to meet you even though this situation is a bit awkward." He greeted as Penny smiled sheepishly. "I'm sorry for scaring you."

"Nice to meet you too and don't worry about it."

He smiled and backed up toward the door. "I'll give you some privacy now."

George gave Sheldon a grin and walked into the hall. He turned toward Penny as his brother came back to the door.

"Oh this was on the floor." He said and held up the black lace bra toward her. "You must have dropped it while running away."

Sheldon sighed and took the bra from him as he motioned to his brother to leave the bedroom.

* * *

><p>"Since when do you have a girlfriend Shelly?" George asked as Sheldon divided the scrambled eggs onto three plates. "Mother told me but I didn't believe it until I saw her with my own two eyes."<p>

"George, I assume you have a lover in your life as well."

He looked at Sheldon and frowned. "I did. But who would have thought that you ever would and such a sexy lady?"

He glared at his brother as Penny walked down the stairs from her shower and sat down at the kitchen table slowly. George winked at Sheldon and smacked him on the back. "I didn't know you had it in you, Sheldon. You dog."

He looked at his brother in confusion. "I don't understand. What do I have in me?"

Penny stifled a laugh as she dug into her breakfast.

* * *

><p>"So George you're a rancher?" Penny asked curiously.<p>

"Yup I raise, breed and train horses ranging from common folk to celebrities." He replied proudly. "I just love horses."

"Me too. The last time I got to ride one was for a commercial. It was so much fun." She replied happily.

"Commercial?" He asked and pondered for a minute. "Wait; are you in that hemorrhoid commercial I've seen on TV?"

Penny nodded happily. "That's the one."

"I knew you looked familiar but I just couldn't remember where I saw you. It was either that or a porno."

"I would never do porn; I want to be a professional actress and have normal acting jobs." She replied as Sheldon glared at George.

"Indeed. Penny is better than that." He added as Penny smiled at him before taking a bite of her toast.

**Thank you for reading and please review!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Sadly, I don't own The Big Bang Theory**

George sat on the couch with Sheldon watching a football game. He frowned as George watched excitedly as the opposing team scored another touchdown.

"Yeah!" He yelled jumping up from the couch and spilling his popcorn onto Sheldon.

"Must you leap every single time? I don't appreciate being bombarded by your snack an average of every 10 minutes." He said, brushing the popcorn off of himself.

George smirked. "Consider yourself lucky I wasn't eating Cheese Nachos like last time."

Sheldon glared at him as Penny walked into the kitchen. She took out a bottle of water when the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it." She offered and strode to the door to see Missy with a disappointed look on her face.

"Penny, how could you lie to me?" She asked with hurt in her voice, walking into the house. She looked at the woman as Missy placed her suitcase down.

"Missy, what are you talking about?"

"Your pregnancy of course, mama called me a few days ago."

George started choking on his popcorn and his eyes darted to his brother.

'She's pregnant?' He mouthed to Sheldon, causing him to sigh.

Penny looked over at her boyfriend and he held her gaze before Missy pulled her towards the stairs. "We're gonna have a little talk in private."

They watched as the two women disappeared up the stairs quickly and George turned to look at him.

"I want an explanation now. And I want details."

Sheldon's eyes widened and he bolted from the couch, running toward the stairs as George chased after him.

* * *

><p>Missy closed the door behind them and motioned to Penny to sit on the bed.<p>

"Alright." Missy began crossing her arms. "Explain."

"Look, I didn't lie to you at all. We did sleep together last night but-" Penny said and got cut off by the OCD knock on the door before it opened.

"Missy, I would appreciate if you didn't interrogate Penny." Sheldon said glaring at his twin.

She looked over at Penny. "Then it's true?"

George poked his head in. "I wouldn't be surprised. I basically caught them red-handed this morning when I arrived."

Missy's expression changed from surprised to ecstatic. "Oh my God I'm gonna be an aunt!"

Penny looked over at Sheldon briefly and covered her face with her hands as George dragged him out of the room by his collar.

* * *

><p>Penny sat in Missy's room when Sheldon walked in. His hair was ruffled and his clothes were covered in grass stains.<p>

"What happened?" She asked concerned, standing up.

"George tried to get information out of me regarding your pregnancy so we ended up goin' around like when we were kids." He replied, his Texas drawl escaping.

"So he beat you up?"

"Oh no, nothing like that. We wrestled and if he won I would have to 'spill'." He answered using air quotes.

"So did you win?"

"Of course. Although George appears to be stronger than I, we are actually matched in terms of strength."

Penny stared at him. "Then how did you win if you're matched? Shouldn't it be a tie?"

"I'm a Physicist, Penny. Also, I have extensive knowledge of pressure points. George unfortunately learned that the hard way." He replied as there was a knock on the bedroom door.

The door opened revealing Missy, placing her suitcase into the bedroom. Penny zipped hers up and Sheldon picked it up.

"You don't want to share with me Penny?" Missy asked, eying the two of them.

"It's not like that." Penny defended. "It's your room Missy and besides I intruded first."

"Indeed, Penny will stay in my bedroom for the duration of our trip." Sheldon added and walked out of the room.

Missy smiled at Penny. "I'm glad that Shelly is more human. Even as a kid he wouldn't let anyone into his room, not even his imaginary friends."

* * *

><p>"This is getting way out of hand." Penny said sitting in Sheldon's bed. "Missy and George are now part of the lie."<p>

"I know but to be fair we did not say anything. Mother assumed and then proceeded to spread the news." He replied typing on his laptop.

"I still feel guilty." She said sadly, lying down and pulling the covers up.

Sheldon looked up from the screen. "As do I but it's only for six more days. When we arrive in Pasadena I will send an email to my mother explaining it was a false alarm."

Penny looked at him. "Are you that afraid of your mother?"

"Of course, hell hath no fury like a religious fanatical woman."

* * *

><p>It was the 31st of December and Mary arrived in the afternoon, talking about her duties as the prayer leader.<p>

"It was a hoot and a half. I was glad to go this year too but I called it off because you and Shelly wanted to visit." She started as they sat in the living room.

"After a minute of silence we prayed for the usual: world peace, end of famine, warding off the upcoming apocalypse next year, that Obama would win the election, you know basic stuff."

Sheldon shook his head and took a sip of his tea as Penny placed her hand on his.

Mary looked over at the two of them on the loveseat. "I also prayed for the three of you to be healthy and have a safe trip back to California."

"Thank you Mrs. Cooper." Penny said with a smile as Sheldon nodded.

"Oh Penny, I have also booked an appointment with an excellent gynecologist for you on the fourth since you're both leaving on the sixth. She's a member at our church and has happily obliged to fit you into her schedule."

Sheldon choked on his drink earnings stares from his mother and siblings. He coughed and cleared his throat. "Mother it's not necessary. We can find a doctor in Pasadena. Besides wouldn't be an inconvenience on her part to send the results to California?"

Mary looked over at her son. "Shelly, it's not a problem. She can even send them by email."

She then turned to look at Penny. "Is that alright with you, Penny? I thought you would want a check up."

"We were planning on booking an appointment when we got back, right Penny?" Sheldon countered, looking at her.

"Yup. That's the plan." She replied shooting him a look.

Mary, George and Missy stared at them suspiciously before Penny spoke up hesitantly.

"But I guess it won't hurt to have one here."

* * *

><p>"...3...2...1. Happy New Year!" They shouted in unison as they stood on the porch.<p>

Mary had wanted the champagne to be opened outside to prevent a mess in case it would spill onto the floor or carpet.

Penny wrapped her arms around Sheldon and kissed him on the lips, earning whistles from George.

Missy took the bottle and handed it to George. He opened it and it started flowing like a fountain. Mary handed each of them a glass as George poured the alcohol for each of them, skipping Penny.

Missy opened the non-alcoholic bottle and poured the contents into Penny's glass. "Since you're pregnant I picked up this from the supermarket for you."

"Thanks Missy, how thoughtful." Penny said happily then turned to glare at Sheldon who's eyes darted up to the sky to avoid her gaze.

They clinked their glasses before drinking.

* * *

><p>"Well I'm done for the night." Mary said finishing her glass. "Shelly, make sure Penny turns in as well. It's important for a pregnant woman to get plenty of sleep."<p>

"Yes mother." He replied as his she said goodnight before walking back inside through the sliding door. Missy and George finished off the bottle and turned in as well.

Penny and Sheldon sat on the patio chairs. He looked over at her. "I apologize for the inconvenience this has caused you to refrain from being inebriated on New Years'. I understand it is the social convention."

She looked over at him. "It's okay sweetie. I was upset at first but I don't mind it now. I drink too much anyway so this is a nice change for me."

"That's accurate. It's a miracle your liver hasn't given out yet." Sheldon replied as Penny leered at him.

"But you'll make it up to me, right?" She asked, her memory flooding back to their first night. The thought alone was enough to make her toes curl.

"Of course, what do you suggest?" Sheldon asked innocently as Penny smirked. Leaning in, she whispered in his ear. She could practically hear his brain thinking.

"Woman, you're insatiable."

**Thank you for reading and please review!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Sadly, I don't own The Big Bang Theory**

Sheldon groaned as he drove Penny to the gynecologist, since his mother had already booked an appointment it was futile to avoid it. They sat in silence as Penny played with the straps on her purse.

"Oh God, I can't continue lying to your family like this. Once she sees the results we're screwed." She said frantically as they pulled into a parking space.

They walked in silence to the building as Sheldon held the door open for her. Penny sat down in the waiting room on a chair. She picked up a magazine as the door opened.

"Good morning, Penny right?" The woman asked, walking up to her and Sheldon. Penny nodded at the woman, she was in her forties and slightly chubby. "I'm Dr. Lacroix. You're right on time."

Sheldon's eyes widened at the woman. "Oh good Lord." He said earning a look from Penny before she followed the doctor inside.

* * *

><p>Penny stared at the picture as Sheldon drove through downtown Galveston. Nothing was there and they promised to show Mary the results. She grimaced, thinking of how disappointed his mother would be with them.<p>

"So we might as well tell them the truth." Penny sighed.

"Not exactly, I have a plan." Sheldon replied, keeping his eyes on the road as she put the picture back into the folder.

"What plan? Sheldon it's over."

He smirked. "Look inside the folder again."

Penny's eyes widened and she quickly opened it again, sifting through the documents, finally pulling out the other ultrasound. She saw the small sac in the picture and looked at him as Sheldon stopped at a red light.

"What did you do, Sheldon?" She asked curiously. "Don't tell me you stole this from one of her patient's records?"

"Nothing of the sort. I explained our predicament to Dr. Lacroix while you excused yourself to void your bladder. In exchange for this ultrasound I made a deal with her."

Penny's eyes narrowed. "What kind of deal? Your mother and her best friends, how did you manage that?"

Sheldon lowered his eyes. "It turns out that the gynecologist is the same healer that frequents our church. I promised her that the next time I visit she would be allowed to perform her hogwash healing on my person. I made it clear that I would not pretend to have epilepsy like her mindless minions."

Penny frowned and patted his arm. "Aww, I'm sorry Sheldon."

"There's no need to apologize Penny, I brought this on myself." He replied sadly.

* * *

><p>Sheldon stared at the screen and frowned. "Since we've arrived none of our friends have been available on Skype. It's like they're avoiding us."<p>

Penny placed his tea on the desk beside him. "Maybe they're busy. At least they still keep in touch by text and email."

She took a sip of her coffee and placed it on the desk as well. Penny continued packing her clothes, earning a look from him.

"Penny, if you had packed last night, we would be ready to leave by now." Sheldon told her in his condescending tone before taking a sip of his tea.

"We're leaving in six hours, there's plenty of time. Help me make sure that I haven't left anything behind." She retorted, zipping up her suitcase.

He stood up, shaking his head and proceeded to check the closet and dressers. Sheldon walked over to the night table and opened the drawer, spotting a box. He opened it and his eyes widened.

"Penny, did you just start this?" He asked, holding up the birth control pills.

She nodded. "Yeah, I recently finished my last package so I started a new one. You didn't have protection so luckily I took a box with me before we left Pasadena."

"Understandable, but this is a new package, and given that there are ten missing, I assume you consumed the first on December 28th, a day before our carnal activity." He calculated, handing her the box.

"Yeah, so what's the problem?" Penny asked.

"Penny, one must take it for a few weeks before it is completely effective. If a woman simply begins taking them, switches brands or starts a new box the likelihood of conception is increased."

Her eyes widened. "Why didn't you tell me that earlier Sheldon?"

"Well you haven't even informed me-"

She held up her hand. "Alright. So there's a chance?"

"Possibly, if my sperm has fertilized your eggs by now but we'll need to obtain a pregnancy test at the end of this month for accurate results."

She placed her hand on her stomach, her mind flashing to the ultrasound and the look on his family's ecstatic faces. "But what if I am? How can you fit a baby into your schedule?"

"Of course nothing is certain at this point. However I see no problem in the matter, my income alone is enough to raise a child. There might be a slight disruption to my schedule but I can easily arrange it to fit the well-being of our child just as I arranged it before to accommodate your presence in my life."

Penny's eyes began to tear and she walked over to Sheldon, embracing him. He wrapped his arms around her.

"Of course, if we assume you are pregnant we can easily keep my mother and my siblings happy and clueless to our lie in the near future."

* * *

><p>Sheldon sat on the couch scribbling into his notebook so quickly George had to look away because it was hurting his eyes.<p>

"Are you doing some more science stuff?" He asked peeking at a page. "Don't you ever take a day off?"

"No, and I'm simply writing a quick draft of how a child will factor into my schedule." Sheldon replied, his eyes still fixed on his notebook.

"You've been at it for almost two hours."

"My life is quite extensive and detailed."

George rolled his eyes. "I bet it is."

* * *

><p>"Penny, how are you feeling?" Mary asked as she made breakfast. Missy sat at the kitchen table with Penny.<p>

"I'm fine Mrs. Cooper." She replied.

"Alright, just double checking. You know when I was pregnant with Sheldon and Missy I had morning sickness after four weeks." She replied.

"Mama, it's different for every woman." Missy countered and looked at Penny. "Maybe you might be lucky like my friend and completely skip over, huh?"

She looked at Mary and Missy before replying.

"...Yeah, hopefully."

* * *

><p>Sheldon loaded the suitcases into the trunk as Mary and Missy hugged Penny.<p>

"Have a safe trip and don't forget I'll visit next month." His mother said looking at Penny. "I expect you to have a ring on when I arrive."

Penny smiled and George also pulled her into a hug. "I won't be able to visit but if you're ever in Dallas you can come and visit my ranch. You're welcome anytime."

He let go of her and Penny nodded, catching Sheldon's expression of jealousy. She laughed as he watched his brother before opening the passenger door for her.

**Thank you for reading and please review!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Sadly, I don't own The Big Bang Theory**

"Alright, we should arrive in Houston at 2 PM to catch the train." Sheldon informed her as he drove on the highway.

Penny whipped her head to look at him. "Oh I don't think so. No more trains, I want to fly back home."

Sheldon gripped the steering wheel. "I've already informed you of the reason why I don't fly."

"I know but don't you just want to get home quickly?" She asked.

"I do, but I'm banned even if I wanted to."

"Yup, but you're banned on American Airlines, we can take a different airline." Penny replied, smirking as his jaw twitched.

"Drat. I hoped you forgot that detail."

* * *

><p>"Two tickets to Pasadena, California." Sheldon told the clerk, as the woman typed on the computer.<p>

They checked in their luggage and proceeded in the direction of airport security. Sheldon walked beside Penny, his eyes darting all over the place.

"What's wrong? Are you uncomfortable?" She asked.

"Of course. The scenarios playing through my mind are enough to frighten even the armed security guards."

Penny slipped her hand into his and squeezed it. "Don't worry, everything will be alright."

"I doubt it. Clearly you haven't seen the movie Die Hard."

* * *

><p>Sheldon stood in line with Penny. They were five spots away to their turn. Penny reassured him that he would get through without a hassle as long as he thought positive thoughts. His eyes narrowed at that. Soon enough it was Sheldon's turn.<p>

She looked at him. "Sheldon, it's your turn."

He stood silent.

"Would you like me to go first?" Penny asked and he nodded.

She walked up to the detector after placing her purse in the container and went through as instructed. It beeped and the guard took out his wand and searched for the cause. It was her earrings and he let her pass.

He then motioned to Sheldon. "Step forward. Remove all metallic items and empty your pockets."

Sheldon removed his belt and watch, placing it slowly into the small container, then his phone and wallet. He grimaced, thinking about the amount of bacteria that would now be infecting his items. He would need to sanitize them as quickly as possible.

The guard motioned for him to step through and he did, causing it to beep. Sheldon stood still as the man glided the wand over him and it beeped near his face. Great, a repeat of his last experience.

"Do you have any metal fillings?" He asked.

Sheldon shook his head. "Of course not."

"I'll need you step aside and proceed to the room on the left." The guard ordered, pointing with his finger to the door.

"Why? It's not like I'm a terrorist hiding a detonation device in a tooth cavity."

The man's eyes widened and he tackled Sheldon immediately to the ground. Penny placed her hand over her face as she watched him being taken away.

* * *

><p>"Are you insane Sheldon? You can't just spout that kind of crap at an airport. You're lucky you weren't tasered." Penny lectured, sitting beside him.<p>

He lifted his arms slightly but he was handcuffed to the chair. Sheldon scoffed as the chain rattled. "Honestly one can simply lift up this chair effortlessly and walk out of the room. Top notch security my sweet patootie."

Penny glared at him and he closed his mouth, avoiding her gaze.

The door opened, revealing another guard and an FBI agent. "Mr. Cooper we-"

Sheldon stared at the agent. "Dr. Cooper."

Both men stared at each other and then looked at Penny. She nodded slowly. "Don't worry, not that kind of doctor."

"Alright Dr. Cooper, I need to know why an American citizen such as yourself would utter terrorist threats." The man asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I was not uttering threats; I was merely stating the obvious." Sheldon replied, looking up at the man.

"Nevertheless it disturbed the guard and the people in the vicinity. Luckily thanks to your wife we have decided to let you go with a warning. If this incident were to ever repeat in any public place including an airport, you will be detained and we will press criminal charges." The agent explained and motioned to the guard to uncuff Sheldon.

He massaged his numb wrist. "Understood, however-"

Penny smacked his forearm. "Enough dear, we're going to miss our flight."

She thanked them and pushed Sheldon out of the room.

* * *

><p>"Finally we're on our way home." Penny stated, relaxing in her seat as Sheldon fidgeted whenever someone would walk by him.<p>

"Indeed, but why must I have the aisle seat?"

"Do you want the window seat then?" She asked, earning a look from him.

"Of course not, I would rather not witness the view from 30,000 feet. I fainted while rock climbing, you imagine what would happen at this altitude?"

"I know but why are you complaining?"

"Conversation starter. And for the record I would appreciate it if we never flown again." He replied, his eyes darting back to the aisle.

Penny groaned as Sheldon shifted to avoid a child brushing past his knee.

* * *

><p>Penny sighed as she felt someone kick her seat for the fifth time.<p>

"Why can't parents keep an eye on their kids?" She grumbled earning a look from Sheldon.

"I haven't seen a child pester you since we've boarded."

"You haven't seen one but I felt one. I think a kid has been kicking my seat, at least it feels like it or maybe an older adult." Penny answered, leaning forward slightly.

Sheldon unbuckled his seat belt and turned around. Sure enough there was a small boy with his mother. He cleared his throat and crossed his arms standing in front of them.

"Excuse me; your son has been disturbing my girlfriend's flight by unnecessary assaulting her seat. I must point out that if this leads to her having a possible miscarriage there will be dire consequences."

The woman stared at him in confusion. Sheldon frowned and repeated himself much to his dismay. A light bulb went off in her head.

"Oh he's not my son. I don't know this boy." She answered and Sheldon glared.

"Are you telling me that a child is flying in this death trap unescorted and without adult supervision?"

She blinked. "I guess."

"That's absurd. You're obviously lying."

Penny stood up and pulled him back toward his seat. "Sheldon, kids do fly alone. It's not out of the ordinary."

"Maybe in your world." He mumbled. "I will lessen your discomfort and danger by switching seats with you."

Sheldon sat down in the window seat as Penny sat down beside him and kissed him on the cheek. "Thanks for being concerned."

"You're welcome Penny, as your man I need to protect you and our unborn child."

* * *

><p>They landed and got their suitcase without any problems, to Sheldon's surprise, before walking out of the airport.<p>

"Are you sure he's coming?" Penny asked, sitting on a bench.

"Leonard knows since I've texted him before we boarded. I even told him to be here ten minutes earlier in the event he should be late. Obviously still he can't follow basic instructions."

They waited until they spotted a silver Toyota Corolla pull up beside them. Leonard popped open the trunk for them as they loaded their bags. Sheldon opened the back door for Penny.

"I would be at ease if you sat in the back. In the event we should be in an accident an airbag is very hazardous to the baby's health."

Penny nodded and got in as he shut the door for her. Sheldon got into the passenger side as they were both greeted by Leonard.

"So how was your trip?" He asked as he pulled out onto the highway.

"It's definitely a trip I will never forget for the rest of my life."Penny replied.

Sheldon nodded. "Agreed."

Leonard looked in the rear-view mirror at Penny and then turned his head to look at Sheldon as he screeched at him.

"Eyes on the road, Leonard!"

* * *

><p>Sheldon and Leonard followed behind Penny as they walked up the stairs with the suitcases. They stopped on the fourth floor and she walked up to her door as Sheldon placed the suitcases outside her apartment.<p>

Leonard placed Sheldon's near the door and turned around to look at them. "Wait, Penny before you go inside I need you to see something first." They stared at him in confusion and walked toward his direction.

"Alright, but Leonard there is something that we must discuss with you immediately." Sheldon began as Penny nodded in agreement.

"Yes and we couldn't tell you by email or text. You need to hear this from us in person."

He held up his hand. "Okay, but we need you to see something first."

They stared at each other puzzled as Leonard opened the door to reveal their friends and a cake in the middle of the apartment. Streamers were hanging from the ceiling and balloons were all over the place. Gifts were on the floor around the coffee table as soft music played in the background.

"Surprise!" They shouted in unison as Sheldon and Penny's jaws dropped in shock. A large sign hung from the ceiling: Congratulations on your first child!

"So what do you think?" Bernadette asked as Howard wrapped his arm around her shoulder.

Raj walked up to them beaming with a beer in his hand."And the surprise is not over yet. Follow me."

Sheldon twitched. "What else have you done?"

They followed him as he led them to Leonard's room and opened the door. All of Leonard's stuff was gone, replaced with plush toys and a bassinet. They had made a nursery for them. Penny's eyes widened in surprise.

"I personally designed the nursery to fit all of Sheldon's safety guidelines and precautions." Raj gushed taking a sip of his beer. "I seriously want a baby now too."

Amy walked into the nursery. "And don't worry bestie, I am available to babysit and run errands for you whenever you need me. At any hour of the day."

"Thanks Amy." Penny replied as she looked at Sheldon. His expression was of pure shock, a slight twitch of his face was seen before he cleared his throat.

"While I have no objections, even if there is a possibility that Penny is pre-" Sheldon began and Penny jabbed him in the side, changing his train of thought. "I mean what about the roommate agreement? It's been notarized."

Leonard smiled, holding up the agreement and ripping it in half. "What agreement? And now I can have a place of my own, in fact I have already moved in across the hall so that you two can live together. All that's left is moving Penny's belongings."

* * *

><p>They sat in the couch the next morning. Sheldon looked at Penny.<p>

"Are you comfortable with this? This is far too sudden although I do enjoy your constant presence."

Penny nodded. "It is but do we have a choice? If we tell them that I might not be pregnant all of their hard work will be for nothing."

Sheldon sighed. "I suppose and of course the baby paraphernalia that they have purchased will also have been for naught."

They sat still for a minute.

"Hey how did they find out about this? Your mother also said she heard the rumor from someone." Penny mused, breaking the silence.

Sheldon turned his body towards her. "Keen observation. Assuming that mother informed our friends recently we can rule out the fact that our friends did not spread it."

They thought for a few minutes.

"Who knows, we may never know. Some things are better left alone." Penny spoke up as the door opened, revealing Leonard.

"Hey, sorry to barge in but Penny are you sure I can keep all the furniture?"

Penny nodded as she stood up from the couch. "Yes Leonard, I don't have a need for it anymore."

"I feel bad though, I'll write you a check for the stuff later." He replied earning a nod from Penny.

Leonard watched as she disappeared into the bathroom, and sat down beside Sheldon.

"Leonard, this has been puzzling me since last night, but how do you suppose my mother found out about Penny and I? I can confirm that she called you with the news but other than that I'm lost. Obviously a deity, with knowledge about the future, conversing with my mother is highly improbable."

He smirked, glancing sideways at his former roommate and took a sip of his tea. "I'm sorry Sheldon; I don't know what to tell you."

"If I can't I figure this out how am I supposed to concentrate on my work and win the Nobel Prize?"

**Thank you for reading and please review!**

**I'm kind of torn on whether or not I should write an epilogue and if Penny is pregnant or not. I would appreciate any opinions or suggestions. Or I could just leave the story like this and finish up my next two fics that I've started… **

**Thank you everyone that has read, reviewed and enjoyed this story :D**


	15. Chapter 15

**Sadly I don't own The Big Bang Theory**

Penny turned over and patted the space beside her half-asleep. She slowly opened her eyes and saw that Sheldon wasn't there. Looking over at his clock it read 11:45 AM; she had overslept again.

Throwing her legs over the side she stood up and groggily walked out toward the kitchen, spotting a plate covered in cling wrap with a small post-it note on top of it.

_"Left early for work again, Sheldon."_

She plucked off the note and looked at the plate, it was an omelet.

"How sweet." She said out loud as she took off the wrap and popped it into the microwave before taking out a mug and placing the kettle on the stove. Ever since Sheldon became paranoid over her eating habits, with the assumption that she might be pregnant, he had laid out a strict regimen over what foods or drinks she was forbidden to consume. She agreed with him but Penny was already starting to miss coffee, alcohol and bear claws. The bear claws puzzled her but she let it go before he started ranting about it.

The kettle whistled and she took it off the stove, pouring it over her green tea. She took it along with the omelet and sat down in Sheldon's spot, taking a bite. God, how was he such an excellent cook? Is there anything he's not good at? A knock at the door broke her train of thought.

"It's open!" She called out and the door opened, revealing Amy.

"Good morning bestie." She greeted, sitting down beside her on the couch.

Penny nodded and greeted her back as Amy looked around in confusion. "Why isn't Sheldon having break- I mean brunch with you?"

"He had to go to work." Penny replied taking a sip of her tea.

"But it's Sunday. As far as I know he only works five days a week."

"I know but he and Raj have been working late for the past week on their dark matter stuff. I guess they need to do some overtime like yesterday." Penny replied, taking another bite.

"Acceptable. Luckily I stopped by, would you care to hang out with me for the rest of the day then?"

Penny looked up at her smile. "I actually want to stay in today; do you want to hang out here? No matter how long I sleep I can never get enough."

"I see, being pregnant does take a toll on one's body." She stated looking at Penny.

"Amy, I'm not even sure-" Penny began, looking at Amy's confused face. "-why I feel like this. You know what? Let's go out for some fresh air. Maybe I'll feel better."

She clasped her hands together. "Yay! It's a date!"

Penny nodded, standing up and putting her dishes into the sink.

"Let me take a quick shower and we can go."

"No problem, and if you need me to wash your back just say the word."

* * *

><p>Sheldon stood in front of his whiteboard, watching Raj scribble on it.<p>

"Honestly you're resulting to making up formulas now?" Sheldon replied with condescension.

"Oh yeah, what about this one? It doesn't exist either." He retorted, pointing to the other board.

"Irrelevant, it only takes true genius to understand and clearly you don't."

Raj glared at him and continued to write before pausing. "You know, for a man that's about to have a child you're awfully calm about it."

Sheldon twitched; it's been a little over a month since the first time he had engaged in coitus with Penny and as of now they haven't confirmed anything. But frequent intercourse does increase the chances of conception.

"Apparently I'm better at concealing my emotions than most people."

Raj eyed him. "If I didn't know better, I would say that there is no baby."

Sheldon grasped the marker in his hand tighter. "Why would you come to that conclusion?"

"Please, if I was expecting a child I would rejoice, post it to my Twitter and Facebook account before sitting down and knitting a blanket for my little bundle of joy."

Sheldon stared at him. "Raj, I suggest you find a woman before your sexual orientation does a 180."

* * *

><p>Amy walked with Penny at the mall; occasionally they stopped at stores with clothes and shoes that displayed 'on sale' signs.<p>

"Penny, are you experiencing some distress?" She asked.

"No, why?"

"We've been to several stores and you haven't purchased at least one item. You've also been in the toilet longer than your usual length. I timed it." Amy replied with concern.

"I had two cups of tea. And I don't have room for more clothes, remember? I even donated some to charity before the holidays." Penny answered as they passed another store.

"Odd."

"What's odd?"

"You seem to be displaying premenstrual symptoms while pregnant." Amy murmured looking at her.

Penny started to sweat. "I'm sure it affects my hormones the same way."

"Perhaps however I wish to run some tests on you. Let's go to my apartment, I may have some extra supplies there."

* * *

><p>Sheldon sat on the couch and looked at his watch for the tenth time within an hour. The door opened and he turned his head, relaxing his shoulders when he saw it was Penny.<p>

"I was getting worried; I haven't been able to contact you all day."

"Sorry about that, Amy wanted to hang out today and I forgot to take my phone with me." She replied tiredly, sitting down on the couch. Sheldon looked at the bandage on her arm.

"Are you injured?" He asked with concern.

"This? Nope, Amy cornered me and took a syringe of my blood to measure my hormone levels."

"I'll need to have a word with Amy regarding her behavior." Sheldon replied, pulling out his cell phone when Penny placed her hand on his arm.

"Its fine Sheldon, it's harmless and it doesn't bug me at all. It's not like she took half of the blood in my body."

"But it bugs me that she's treating you like one of her Rhesus monkeys."

She kissed his cheek before standing up. "Don't worry I won't let her do it again." Penny said reassuringly before she walked into the bathroom.

* * *

><p>Penny took an order as Bernadette carried a plate to a table.<p>

"How are you feeling Penny? You look nauseous." She asked, seeing Penny's tired face.

"I was this morning but I'm fine now, a little tired but I'll just go to bed early again."

"Again? Maybe you should take the rest of the day off." Bernadette answered.

"I can't do that Bernadette. It's too busy for me to just leave."

"Don't worry. I can handle it." She said reassuringly.

"You're sure?" Penny asked.

"Of course, now go home."

"Thanks Bernadette."

* * *

><p>Penny drove down the road and stopped at a red light. Her eyes fell on Walgreen's.<p>

"It wouldn't hurt to make sure."

* * *

><p>She stared at the results: positive. There was no mistake, she had bought three different tests and they all had the same results. Penny picked them up and threw them in the plastic bag as she walked by the nursery. She paused and opened the door, smiling at the toys. Penny started to imagine a small girl with big blue eyes giggling and running around the room.<p>

The door opened causing her to snap out of her fantasy. Sheldon walked in and took off his jacket as he saw Penny dashing to the garbage with a bag in her hands.

He stared at her. "What's that?"

"Oh just some garbage that I cleaned out of our room." She replied, taking the garbage out from under the sink as she threw the small bag into it and tied it.

His eyes widened. "As far as I know there was no garbage. What if you threw something important or valuable away?"

She smiled. "Sheldon it's just some old papers."

"What? What papers?"

She groaned. "I meant magazines. You know my celebrity magazines on the night table."

He instantly relaxed. "Oh, alright."

Sheldon watched as Penny took the garbage bag and walked past him to the front door.

"I can take the garbage out." He offered but she shook her head.

"I could use the exercise." She replied quickly, opening the door and walking down the stairs.

Sheldon looked at her until she disappeared around the corner with a puzzled expression. "Could it be hormones? Penny never takes out the garbage."

* * *

><p>Penny paced around the apartment. She had to tell Sheldon the news but how? He had said he would welcome a baby right away but it was in theory. What if they weren't ready for this physically?<p>

She kept pacing, not noticing that Sheldon had been staring at her for the past two minutes over his mug. Penny finally looked up and saw him with a questioning look on his face.

"Is something causing you physical distress? You do know you've been walking in circles around the entire living room?"

She took a deep breath. "Sheldon I need to-"

"Oh hey I ran out of sugar, could I borrow some?" Leonard asked after opening the front door. "Hey Penny."

"Hi Leonard." She replied, looking down at her hands as he dumped a few spoonfuls into his tea.

They watched him in silence until he turned around. "Am I interrupting?"

"Nah, not at all." Penny answered forcing a smile.

"Good, thanks for the sugar. See you later." He thanked and zoomed past her out the front door.

"And people think I don't get sarcasm." Sheldon spoke up looking over at Penny. "What were you saying before Leonard rudely interrupted? I think we should lock the door from now on."

She watched as he pulled out the butter from the fridge for his English muffins. As the seconds went by she felt the courage seep out of her body. Penny quickly had an idea, it was perfect.

"Sheldon I want to have dinner tonight, just the two of us." She spoke up as he took a bite.

"What's the occasion?"

"None." Penny answered slowly.

"Then I presume it's a date. Alright, do I need to book a reservation at that Italian restaurant again?"

"Leave it up to me. I'll handle everything so don't worry about it." She answered smiling.

"...Alright. But this is odd and suspicious behavior."

"How is this suspicious?" Penny asked quickly.

"Well you're perspiring slightly, a sign of nervousness. The temperature is ideal in the apartment as I have control over the thermostat. Furthermore, your body language suggests you're hiding something." Sheldon analyzed, taking another bite of his breakfast.

'Oh balls, he's onto me.' Penny panicked slightly.

"It's nothing like that." She laughed nervously. "Do you trust me?"

"Penny, out of our circle of friends you are the only one whom I have complete faith and trust in. Need I bring up the Arctic expedition?"

She shook her head as he placed his plate in the sink before looking at Penny.

"I'll leave the details up to you then. Perhaps I can rudely interrupt Leonard now before we leave for work." He mused, giving her a kiss on the lips.

* * *

><p>Sheldon walked with Leonard up the stairs to the fourth floor with a bouquet of red roses in his hands.<p>

"I thought you didn't like flowers." He asked, looking over at his friend.

"Leonard, on my way to work I realized that tonight is our one month anniversary. I can't show up empty handed like you have while you were dating Penny. And for the record I dislike flowers with insects or bugs in them, I checked thoroughly at the flower mart. When I was 10 Missy held a tulip up to my nose so that I could smell it and I got stung by a bee. My nose was swollen for weeks and I could barely see anything in front of me causing me to wander off in wrong directions and tripping on random objects. Try running away from bullies like that without running into trees."

"Okay then." Leonard replied, walking over to his door.

"And please refrain from barging into our apartment in the near future. At least knock before you permanently descend into anarchy."

"Don't worry, it won't happen again. Enjoy your date." Leonard added before walking inside.

"Thank you, I shall."

Sheldon opened the door and noticed that the lights were dimmed with their dinner sitting on the coffee table accompanied by two candles. Penny emerged from the corridor.

"This is unexpected but pleasant surprise. It has been two years since you've last cooked dinner for me." Sheldon exclaimed, joining her on the couch.

He looked at the plates. Spaghetti with hot dogs cut up into the sauce; his favorite. Sheldon handed her the bouquet and she happily took them.

"Thank you honey, they're beautiful." She gushed, placing a soft kiss on his lips.

"First I would like to apologize for letting our one month anniversary slip my mind.

Penny nodded smiling as he continued. "I must also discuss an important matter with you."

"So do I."

"Then proceed."

Penny took his hands into hers and took a deep breath. "Sheldon, you're going to be a father."

His eyes widened. "Then my hypothesis was correct? This is astounding."

"So you're happy?" She asked cautiously.

"Of course Penny. I couldn't fathom having a child with anyone else."

She wrapped her arms around him and he hugged her back.

"Penny, I need to ask you something." He said as they broke the hug.

"Sure." She answered smiling.

"Although this might seem rash I have come to the conclusion I don't want to find a lifelong partner in the foreseeable future."

"...What?" Penny asked slowly, frowning slightly.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a black box, opening it for her to see. The gleam of the diamond shone against the candlelight.

"Penny Marie Lane, would you do me the honor of being my bride?" Sheldon asked as Penny's mouth slowly opened.

"I believe the tradition is to get down on one knee but since we haven't vacuumed in-"

"Yes Sheldon. I will." Penny beamed as he took the ring and carefully slipped it on her finger.

Sheldon took her hand and placed it on his chest. "Over the past years and month I had been feeling odd sensations within my body and heart whenever I was in close proximity to your person and they only increased as time passed. I tried my best to ignore it, thinking it was biological impulses or possibly arrhythmia. It wasn't until my pseudo-relationship with Amy I realized that I was indeed falling for you. The proverbial chemicals were coursing into my brain for a while now and I have embraced them. I love you Penny."

"I love you too, Sheldon." Penny answered as she wrapped her arms around his neck, causing his arms to engulf her as he placed his lips on hers.

A knock at the door caused them to pull apart slightly, looking toward the door. Leonard opened it slightly, poking his head in. "I'm sorry to disturb the two of you again but I'm out of low sodium soy sauce. Could I borrow some?"

Sheldon glared at him. "I informed you previously that we are not to be disturbed, have the receptors in your brain for short term memory short circuited?"

"Yeah, they did, so can I? My food is too dry."

"You may but I've found that phrase absurd. How can one borrow an item that is edible? Are you planning on returning it to me by vomiting it back up?"

Leonard stared over his glasses at Sheldon. "Never mind I'm taking the soy sauce for good and you'll never see it again."

They watched as he left shutting the door behind him as Sheldon turned to look at Penny.

"Now that makes more sense than borrowing it."

**Thank you for reading and please review!**


	16. Chapter 16

**I apologize for the delay and for the length of this chapter. I tried my best to wrap up this story so I hope you enjoy the last chapter!  
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**Sadly, I don't own The Big Bang Theory**

"Are you positive?"

"Of course Bernadette, the proof is right here." Amy replied, handing her the page.

"Then they lied to us. Maybe there was a reason." Bernadette reassured quickly, nodding to herself.

"Perhaps, but what was the reason? If it wasn't a fact that Penny is pregnant then they would have made complete fools out of us."

"So how far along is she then?" Bernadette asked, skimming the results.

"Approximately 32 days and 21 hours."

She looked at Amy in disbelief. "Are you serious?"

"Yup, if we assume the coitus occurred after 9 PM."

* * *

><p>"So did you hear about Sheldon and Penny? I heard From Bernadette." Howard asked, sitting beside Leonard in 4B.<p>

"I did, from the other side of the door."

"What? You were spying on them?" Raj asked, walking over to Leonard.

"...No...Maybe."

"Don't tell me you're still fixated on Penny? I thought you moved on already." Howard replied, staring at him wide-eyed.

"I tried but I can't. I still love Penny, not as much as I used to though so I guess that can be considered an improvement."

Raj sat down in the empty spot on Leonard's right side.

"Wait, did you disrupt their dinner?"

He turned to avoid his gaze and fixated his eyes on the television."Yeah..."

"Were you hoping to stop them?" Raj asked.

"Maybe but I chickened out and asked for soy sauce instead. Sheldon told me he was going to propose eventually and when he told me on our way to work yesterday that he was ready to pop the question, I sort of panicked."

"How long was he planning this?" Howard asked curiously.

"About two weeks, I accidentally saw him looking at the ring when Penny was working the bar-tending shift."

"That's so romantic, Penny's a lucky woman." Raj gushed earning stares from the two of them.

* * *

><p>"Waaa!" Penny sobbed into her hands as Sheldon turned to look at her.<p>

"What's causing you distress?"

"I don't know! What's wrong with me?" She cried, wiping her tears.

Leonard walked into 4A and saw a befuddled Sheldon and weeping Penny. 'Please let them call off the wedding.' He wished as he sat down beside her.

"Penny, could this be a pregnancy symptom? I don't see anything sad about the stock market's points descending again."

She took the Kleenex from Sheldon. "But it is sad, look at those numbers dropping and the money that people are losing."

Leonard's face fell. 'Damnit they weren't having a fight.' He watched as Penny wiped her tears, leaning against Sheldon and he put his arm around her.

He observed as Sheldon changed the channel to a Star Trek re-run to get Penny to stop crying. When the commercial break started he proceeded to explain what the first ten minutes were that they had missed. Leonard gazed at them as they smiled lovingly at each other and conversed as an old married couple.

Sheldon couldn't have changed like this in under a month; it took him almost two years to look people in the eyes directly! If so, how long has their relationship actually been going on?

"Leonard?" Penny asked for the third time, causing him to snap awake from his thoughts.

"Is there something wrong? You've been staring at nothing in particular with your mouth wide open; it's making me uncomfortable watching whether or not you will drool onto your shirt." Sheldon added as his roommate shook his head quickly.

"Yeah, I need to go." He answered, bolting from the couch and out the front door.

* * *

><p>"Hello mom." Penny greeted into the phone.<p>

"Yes I miss you too."

"Listen I need to tell you something important."

"No I did not get a movie part. This is better."

"Mom I'm pregnant."

"I know right?"

"Of course Sheldon is the father."

"Yes Mr. Touch Phobia."

"Sure." Penny looked at Sheldon sitting on the couch and motioned to the phone. "Mom wants to talk to you."

He took the phone from her and held it up to his ear. "Good afternoon Mrs. Lane."

"Yes I assure you I am the father and that I had coitus with your daughter."

"Of course, I proposed two days ago."

"We haven't proceeded with the wedding details."

"Alright."

"Good afternoon Mr. Lane."

"Alright then, Wyatt."

"I assure you our child will live in ideal conditions. I have no immediate nor future plans to purchase a mobile home."

"Of course not, I would never do such a thing."

"Yes we will inform you of the wedding plans."

"Good day." Sheldon placed the phone back in it's cradle.

"So what did my parents say?" She asked excitedly.

"Well they send their regards and are ecstatic about the baby and our wedding."

Penny beamed. "Great!"

"Your father also said to never buy a mobile house and that if I ever leave you he will hunt me down and castrate me with his scythe. Other than that everything is hunky dory."

* * *

><p>"Unacceptable."<p>

"Why?" Howard asked surprised at Sheldon. "This is perfect. Everyone's calendar is wide open."

"You haven't taken into account the catering, the weather, guests and budget. No wonder you only have a master's degree."

Howard glowered at him. "What does having a PH.D have to do with planning a wedding?"

Sheldon glared back. "Everything that is the point."

"Alright, just calm down before a vein pops in your head Howard." Raj replied calmly, patting him on the back. "Once again I am in charge and I'll handle everything."

Sheldon looked at him. "Why? What makes you qualified be in charge?"

"I was the one who planned the baby shower and designed the nursery after telling everyone-" He began as Howard clamped his hand over Raj's mouth.

"Told everyone what?" Sheldon asked.

"Oh it's nothing important. Right Raj?" Leonard quickly said, trying to divert the topic.

"Mmhmm." Raj replied muffled as he shook his head.

"It was you! You spread the rumor to everyone that Penny was pregnant!" Sheldon burst out, standing up from the couch.

"Now look, there is a simple solution to this-"

"Shut up Leonard!" The three of them snapped as he took off his glasses, wiping them on his shirt.

"What is the matter with you Raj?" Sheldon asked.

"I assumed since I asked if you slept with Penny and you didn't deny it."

Sheldon glared at him. "For the record I never answered and we didn't have-"

"So she's not pregnant?" Howard and Leonard asked in unison.

"Of course Penny is carrying my child. Raj because of you I had to lie to my mother. Do you know how difficult it was to hide my ticks?"

Raj frowned. "Look I'm deeply sorry."

"And?" Sheldon said, motioning with his hand. "Keep going."

"Whoa I never told your mother!"

"Really, then who did?"

Raj and Howard turned to look at Leonard as he put his glasses back on and sheepishly grinned.

Sheldon's head shot toward Leonard. "It was you? Wasn't the arctic enough? I never imagined that you would screw me over twice in three years!"

"I'm sorry too but I guess I got a little jealous."

"Don't change the subject! Although I should banish the three of you from the apartment I must instead thank you for progressing the relationship between Penny and I."

They grinned as Sheldon continued. "And each of you are rewarded a strike."

"Why me?" Howard asked.

"You knew about this and decided to not inform me." Sheldon retorted, pointing at him.

"Great now I have to take the class again." He mumbled as Raj and Leonard snickered.

* * *

><p>"Penny we want to talk to you." Bernadette started as she sat with Penny in Amy's apartment.<p>

"Sure. What's this about?"

"Well it's regarding that blood sample that I took from you." Amy explained, handing her a bottle of Yoo-Hoo.

Penny's face fell. "Oh God what's wrong?"

"Nothing like that it's just that Amy ran your blood work to check up on various tests and also we found out that your pregnancy occurred less than a month of what we were expecting." Bernadette explained as Penny clasped her forehead.

"Oh God."

Amy nodded. "Indeed. We had assumed you and Sheldon had a vicious night of _torrential_ love-making at least two to three months ago."

Penny stayed silent as they stared at her. "Okay, I'll explain everything but don't breathe a word of this to the guys including Sheldon."

"Before you begin would you like to know the baby's sex?" Amy asked.

"Sheldon and I want it to be a secret so don't tell us, understood?"

The nodded as Penny began to explain everything to them.

* * *

><p>Penny stood on the scale and looked down. "Another two pounds..." She mumbled as Leonard walked into the apartment.<p>

"How's it going?"

"My morning sickness hasn't come back so that's great but I'm gaining weight like crazy. At this rate I won't fit into my wedding dress."

Leonard's face fell. "Oh you're ready for marriage?"

"Of course, I love Sheldon and there is no one that I'd rather spend the rest of my life with. Besides who wants to be huge for their wedding and honeymoon?"

"Oh so it's already planned out huh?" Leonard asked, scratching his head.

"Yup, we're hoping for next month when Sheldon's family and mine are going to come for a visit."

"I thought that Sheldon's mother and grandmother are coming at the end of this month."

Penny nodded. "They were supposed to but when we told them about the wedding they decided to come next month instead."

"Alright then. When's the date?"

"February 14th! Isn't that romantic?" Penny gushed as Leonard looked confused.

"I thought Sheldon was opposed to that date since the saint was stoned and beheaded."

"Yeah but he figured getting married on that date was different and looked past that detail."

Leonard grinned. "You bullied him didn't you?"

"I wouldn't say bullied more like bribed."

He paused. "Do I need to know?"

"As my ex-boyfriend no you don't."

"Well I wish you both happiness."

"Thanks Leonard." Penny replied, giving him a quick hug.

"No problem." He mumbled as she picked up her bridal magazine.

* * *

><p>"Are you finally over Penny now? Has it sunken into your brain yet?" Howard asked, standing outside the church in his suit and glaring at him.<p>

He looked down at his own suit and then at Howard and Raj. "You would think that but no."

"I think you need therapy." Raj announced, patting Leonard's shoulder. "Do you think you can just whisk Penny away by telling her that you love her? Maybe that she'll accidentally say your name during her vow?"

Leonard groaned. "God have you been watching Friends again?"

Raj glared at him. "Hey, just because I enjoy watching it does not give you the right to judge me. If Ross had said my name I would stand up and run into his arms and kiss him."

"Are you listening to yourself?" Howard asked as Sheldon approached them.

"I must say that I bear no ill will toward the two of you by not asking you to be my best man. I'll admit the decision was difficult but Raj was my first choice after careful consideration."

"He should be the maid of honor instead." Leonard muttered to Howard as they snickered.

"Alright, the ceremony is about to begin." Sheldon spoke checking his watch. "And Raj, please refrain from crying like a little girl like when you watched Chandler and Monica's wedding."

"Dude you watched Friends too? Where have all the men gone?" Howard asked.

"Penny made me watch it the entire week that Leonard had gone off to Switzerland with Raj. It caused a massive disturbance to my REM cycle. We then proceeded to watch every night after you arrived until we finished all ten seasons."

"I didn't know that and Penny never asked me to watch it with her." Leonard mumbled under his breath.

"Then how do you know that Raj cried during that scene?" Howard asked Sheldon curiously.

"He watched it on his laptop at work last week. I asked him about dark matter and he burst into tears running out of the room like a madman. I then proceeded to check his laptop and recognized the paused scene on the screen."

Raj nodded and paused. "Hold on then how do you two know about Friends? That means you watched it too!"

Leonard and Howard stared at Raj then at each other before running up the stairs toward the church.

* * *

><p>"That was so beautiful. I want a wedding like that." Raj said, wiping his tears with his handkerchief.<p>

"I thought you said you weren't going to cry." Leonard replied as he drove down the highway.

"Hey he didn't say anything about after the wedding. You know I'm a sensitive man."

"Look if Sheldon's concerned for you enough to tell you to find a woman then there is something seriously wrong with you. You're damaged too, Leonard." Howard announced and looked out the passenger window.

"That's not fair. How did I know that when they said their vows I would start feeling a bit lightheaded?"

"Please you passed out and fell into the communion basin nearly drowning in holy water. If that happened to Howard he would have burst into flames." Raj retorted as they took the exit.

"Fine it was a little mishap but Sheldon and Penny weren't mad at me. Let's never speak about this ever again, alright?"

"Why should we when we can watch it over and over again?" Raj said excitedly.

"They were recording the wedding? Why!"

* * *

><p>Penny slowly stood up from the couch. She was due in two weeks and any form of activity was difficult. Her legs ached constantly and luckily she decided to quit her job to begin a whole new chapter in her life after the baby was born. Maybe an acting job or something less stressful than waitressing.<p>

Sheldon was at work and would hesitantly leave her in the apartment. He wasn't comfortable about leaving her alone but Penny would shoo him away and reassure Sheldon that everything would be alright.

She lay on the couch watching a re-run of Dr. Oz when she felt the baby kick. Penny remembered the first time the baby kicked when they were lying in bed. It was so wonderful how Sheldon's eyes lit up in excitement and he bolted from the bed to write down everything in his notebook.

Penny rubbed her belly as Leonard walked into the apartment.

"How are you feeling? Do you need anything?"

She nodded. "Pretty good though it is hard to get up from time to time. Would you mind turning up the air condition a little bit? It's getting stuffy in here."

"Sure not a problem. Sheldon told me to tell you he's going to be working late with Raj."

"Again? I thought they were done with their matter thingy a while ago."

Leonard sat down in the chair next to the couch. "They did but with the new data that they found they disproved their old theories so it's back to square one. But if it's successful they might win the Noble Prize."

Penny smiled. "Sheldon did mention that yesterday. I wonder if our child will inherit his brilliant mind and follow in his footsteps."

"Who knows? Maybe even an engineer?"

She laughed. "Don't get me started on that!"

Leonard clasped his hands together. "Do you think they might win the Nobel Prize?"

"I think so. Sheldon is determined and works hard to realize his dream. As long as he has the motivation, there's nothing he can't do."

* * *

><p>Penny walked slowly from the kitchen with her hand on her lower back. Don't get her wrong, she was happy to have a child with Sheldon but the sooner the birth the better. It was hard to sleep, sit, hell to do anything!<p>

She stood in the middle of the living room as Raj and Sheldon stared at her with fear in their eyes.

"What's going on?"

Sheldon's eyes widened. "Penny did you not feel that?"

"Feel what?"

"Oh my God it's happening!" Raj exclaimed and then clasped his hand over his mouth immediately. The door then opened and Leonard looked at her in surprise.

"Penny your water broke!"

* * *

><p>"Penny I think you broke my hand!" Leonard yelled as he wrenched his hand away from her.<p>

"It's either your hand or Raj's and he ran off to the bathroom again!" Penny yelled as her eyes darted to the door as she felt another contraction. "Where is Sheldon?"

"He said he's having a discussion with the doctor to have you moved to a private sanitized room." He replied as he tried to flex his fingers. "Are you sure you weren't a man in another life?"

She glared at him as the door opened and Raj walked inside, trying to stay as far away from Penny as possible.

"Raj I'm not going to hurt you."

Leonard turned around and mouthed 'Run away' causing him to nod and slip outside the room.

"What did you do that for?" She asked angrily as she felt another contraction. "Now who's hand am I going to break now?"

"I have an idea." Leonard suggested, taking her hand and placing it on the rail on her bed. "Let's see if you can make a dent in this."

She stared at him. "You're asking for an ass kicking aren't you?"

Leonard backed away and ran for the door, closing it behind him.

"Dude what's wrong with her?" Raj asked. "I haven't seen her this upset when she dumped you the second time around."

"Hey I dumped her that time." Leonard defended, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I was there. She dumped you when you hooked up with my sister after your one month anniversary date with Penny. If I was her I would have done a lot worse."

"Really? Worse than Penny drunkenly scribbling 'asshole' all over my car? She was so drunk she didn't remember doing that, luckily it was easy to wash off since it was lipstick."

"Dude, I would have run you over with your own car!"

"Someone give me the drugs!" They heard Penny scream from the room causing Raj to go mute.

"Okay, go find Sheldon and bring him here this instant." Leonard ordered as Raj nodded and ran off.

* * *

><p>"Honestly it's like I'm talking to troglodytes. I had booked a private room months ago and you only provided a semi-private room?"<p>

The young nurse looked over her clipboard. "Sir I apologize but we are full up. If there was something I could do then I would."

"Really? Then ask the occupants in one of the rooms to vacate to another if that's what it takes."

"Mr. Cooper we-"

"That's Dr. Cooper and I need this resolved immediately."

"Sheldon! Let's go!" Raj called out and went mute again when he saw the nurse with Sheldon.

"Raj I have important matters to discuss with this simpleton."

Raj stood on his toes and whispered in Sheldon's ear.

"Why didn't you say so?" He turned to look at the nurse. "Although I don't believe in luck consider yourself lucky at the moment. We shall continue this conversation in the near future."

He turned to look at his Indian friend as they rushed down the hall. "And Raj?"

"What?"

"I'm booking an appointment with a psychiatrist as soon as possible. You need to talk to and in the presence of women. This has gone on far too long."

* * *

><p>Sheldon held Penny's hand as the doctor handed him the baby into his hands, wrapped in a pink blanket.<p>

"Congratulations, your baby is perfectly healthy." The man said as Sheldon carefully took their baby into their arms.

The door slightly opened ajar as Howard's head poked in. "Can we come in?"

Penny nodded as Howard, Amy, Bernadette, Leonard and Raj walked in with smiles on their faces as she took her daughter into her arms from Sheldon.

"So it's a girl. Congratulations you two." Leonard spoke up as the doctor turned to look at him.

"Oh it's not a girl but a boy."

"Then why is it wrapped in a pink blanket?" Amy asked curiously.

"We just ran out of blue blankets, a lot of boys were born today."

Howard nodded. "I understand, the same thing happened to me because the doctor couldn't find- never mind I've said too much."

They stared at him as Raj snickered. "That's why your mother dressed you as a girl in those pictures?"

He clasped his hands over his mouth again as everyone else started laughing.

"Hey that was supposed to be a secret Raj."

"You brought it up so technically it's your fault." Leonard added as he turned his head toward Penny and Sheldon. They were so happy and as if they were in their own world. He felt as if he was intruding on their special moment.

* * *

><p>"Give it a rest Sheldon." Leonard ordered as he watched from the couch.<p>

"Why? I've been making wonderful progress."

"You can't teach a one year old physics!" Leonard yelled, throwing his hands up in the air.

"I think you mean I shouldn't not that I can't."

"You couldn't even teach Penny physics let alone a child!"

Sheldon frowned. "That's a lie and Penny did learn albeit it took longer than expected."

Penny walked into the apartment from her morning jog as Sheldon turned to look at her.

"Penny please inform Leonard that you learned valuable Physics information and omit the research that he was working on at the time."

She paused in thought. "Hmm let's see what I can remember. That was a long time ago. Fig Newtons from Massachusetts, objects falling in a vacuum have the same velocity, speed of light squared on matter to make energy, and gravity and acceleration are the same thing; ma=mg."

Leonard's face fell. "Well I'll be damned, guess you did manage the impossible."

Penny glared at him. "Hey you don't have to be mean just because I'm not a scientist like you."

"And like Dr. Aaron." Leonard added quickly.

She looked at her husband. "You're teaching Aaron physics? He needs to learn basics first."

"Leonard! And these are basics. I'm only on ancient Greece for now."

Penny sighed. "I'm talking about English Sheldon. He needs to learn that first."

"Alright point. I'll get started on the curriculum immediately."

Penny rolled her eyes and looked at Leonard. "Keep an eye on Sheldon until I get back from my shower okay?"

"Sure not a problem."

* * *

><p>"This is highly unsanitary." Sheldon groaned, looking at his wife.<p>

"Funny, that's what you said about sex and that outlook has changed."

"Penny this is different. That sand is nothing but a cesspool of insects and dirt. Not to mention-"

She let out a laugh. "Sheldon it's just a sandbox."

"Excuse me?"

"Come on, this all part of being a kid. Let Aaron enjoy himself and then he'll have a bath when we get home."

Sheldon leaned back against the bench."Immediately?"

"Yes honey." She replied, squeezing his hand.

"Then can I disinfect him before he enters the car?" He asked as Penny shot him a look.

"You're not slathering Purell on him again. The last time you did that all the parents were staring at us as if we were crazy. Might as well put him in a bio hazard suit when he's around other children in kindergarten." She added sarcastically.

His eyes lit up. "That's an excellent idea Penny."

She glared at him.

"Oh, sarcasm?"

Penny nodded.

"Great, now I'm 8 for 12 this month." He replied crestfallen.

"But you're improving."

Penny put her head on his shoulder as they watched Aaron tell the other kids how to build a sand castle. Some of the kids were two or three years older than him and were listening intently to him.

"You know Amy and I were wrong all along."

She looked up at him. "About what?"

"She said that her genes and mine would create the greatest offspring." Sheldon replied.

"I remember her saying that."

"Aaron is living proof that Amy and I would never work nor would we have a child. Your genes and mine have equally created a perfect child. He is handsome, insightful, athletic, curious, stubborn and intellectual, even though you won't allow me to give him an IQ test."

Penny smiled. "Sheldon he's too young. I'll let you when he's older."

"Alright I'll consent to that. Our child is the benign overlord that will guide humanity to a brighter tomorrow."

"Don't tell Howard that because he'll want to have another competition with Julia again."

Sheldon watched his son. "There's no competition. If his daughter outgrows Aaron then she might have a chance in that category but the odds are greatly against her due to Bernadette and Howard's height."

Penny kissed Sheldon on the cheek and leaned back against him as Sheldon looked down at her stomach as she massaged it. "Do you think we'll have another son?"

"I would want a daughter, but I wouldn't mind another son." She replied, looking over at Aaron. "Just as long as we're together."

THE END

**Thank you for reading and please review!**


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